


The Winner Takes it All

by CapturetheFinnick



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Football, Engaged, Established Relationship, F/F, Football, Football | Soccer, Multi, Wayhaught - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-05 18:11:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13393431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapturetheFinnick/pseuds/CapturetheFinnick
Summary: Football au where Nicole is a professional footballer, Wynonna is the captain, and Waverly is a budding writer.Nicole and Waverly are engaged and in love, the team is only getting more and more successful; Waverly has every reason to be happy, but there’s something still niggling at the back of her mind, what if she never gets her shot?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey this is my first time writing wayhaught fanfic so let me know how it is, this headcanon has been living in my head for a while, I'm not entirely sure what this is yet but i'm enjoying writing it, hopefully it'll be a whole bunch of oneshots in this au.

Nicole grinned, her eyes drifting from the hoard of cameras in front of her, watching as Waverly (very quietly) tried to slip in the back door. Waverly smiled softly, pushing her brown hair behind her ear, revealing tiny pink dewdrop earrings to match her (massively obnoxious) pink faux-fur coat. She grinned at Nicole, waving eagerly at her, showing off her matching baby pink nails as she leaned against the wall at the back (Nicole guessed it had been a big procrastination day for Waverly.) The juxtaposition between her trying to be quiet and her wearing that bright pink coat was enough to make Nicole shake her head a little, causing the balding man in front of her to turn around, Waverly blushing as he made direct eye contact. The man whipped his head back around as if seeing Waverly had reminded him of something,

“Congratulations on the engagement by the way, Haught.” He said, turning the camera towards her, as the rest of her teammates whooped and clapped, making Nicole turn so red that you could no longer differentiate between her hair and her face, all of it blurring together as Wynonna patted her so violently on the back she nearly knocked her own microphone over.

“Thank you,” she said blushing. And then another woman stopped forward, short black hair, classic one piece grey pant-suit, microphone in one hand,

“Congratulations on the game,” she said, a forced smile, “what are your predictions for the rest of the season?” Wynonna looked up and down the table, and being the good captain that she was, took the lead, chattering away about hard work paying off and so on. Nicole bet that if she had a cliché board, she’d nearly be at bingo by now.

She’d asked Wynonna once, fire burning, feet up in Gus’s back yard, a beer in hand, the summer night stretched around them like silk, littered with tiny silver stitches of stars;

_‘Do you even know what you’re talking about half the time?’_

_‘Fuck no, nobody does, just making it up as I go along,”_

Wynonna paused before laughing loud enough that it seemed to echo off the (very flat) land around them, rippling through the fire like smoke, and waking Waverly up from where she slept on Nicole’s shoulder. Nicole only grinned, moving Waverly’s hair back out of her face. _‘Go back to sleep babe.’_

The press room went on a little longer, the exhilaration from winning the game fading, melting into the dust floor and slipping away into the cracks in the floorboards. Nicole tried to keep up her smile, helped by little kicks from Wynonna under the table, and the ever present smile from Waverly at the back of the room, but eventually all the aches and pains of training and playing football caught up with her and she began to shift uncomfortably in her chair, an action she could see repeated down the line with her other teammates. Wynonna caught on to this, and like any good team captain, started to wrap up,

“That’s all folks,” she said, pushing her chair back, when Wynonna Earp was done, she was done, there was no in-between for her, which was one of the things Nicole most admired about her, “Thanks for coming, and hopefully see you all soon.” She said, to a chorus of _good luck_ ’s from the crowd, a backing track of equipment being packed up and the screeching of chairs on the floor. The team piled off to the side, huddling together for one last cheer before bee lining for the changing rooms.

Nicole watched the rest of her teammates pile into the room, Rosita still somehow managing to sing loudly;

_What team?_

_Purgatory Panthers!_ (still always one straggling _Wildcats!_ From Hal, _always_ Hal.)

Nicole remembered early days, hands entwined in the car on the way to matches, rain smudging against the windscreen and the wipers going a thousand miles an hour,

_‘You’re gonna have to change the name babe,’_ and a cry of indignation from Nicole,   
_‘Come on,’  
_ Waverly would roll her eyes, ‘ _there’s no quick way to chant purgatory panthers it’s too many goddamn syllables,’  
‘You know you’ll have to bring it up with Wynonna, and then you know you’ll never hear the end of it,’ _ Nicole grinned at Waverly, _  
‘Fine,’_ she said, ‘ _you win,’_ turning on the radio and squealing as _What’s love got to do with it?_ started up, leading to Nicole rolling her eyes, and Waverly only grinning wider, letting go of her hand so she could do all the actions, becoming Tina Turner herself in Nicole’s tiny, battered, ford focus.

A hand tapped her on the shoulder, Nicole spinning around as Waverly planted a kiss on her lips,

“You did great babe,” she said, reaching up to wrap her arms around Nicole’s neck, her engagement ring brushing against Nicole’s neck. _Engaged._ It was still hard for Nicole to believe.

“Thanks.” She said, leaning down to kiss Waverly some more, Waverly trying to press her against the cracking blue walls, she moved her hands to Waverly’s hair, letting her fingers move through her soft curls, feeling Waverly’s lips move against her and – she felt something hit her in the head.

“Nicole! Stop sucking face with my sister and get in here,” she turned, one hand still leaning against the wall over Waverly’s head, a look of annoyance shooting against Wynonna’s devilish grin, “you know I have to lock up and I don’t have all night!” Nicole heard Rosita start to laugh behind her and she just shook her head, kissing Waverly once more before picking up Wynonna’s team top back up off the floor and throwing it back at her head,

“Won’t be a second babe,” Nicole said, walking backwards towards to the changing room,

“Good, because I have a bath run that’s going cold,” Waverly winked, and Wynonna continued to make fake gag noises behind Nicole, causing her to knock Wynonna’s shoulder, pushing her back into the room.

Waverly shook her head, pulling her car keys out of her (incredibly fluffy pockets) twisting them around her fingers, as she headed back to the car.

~

The sun was falling through the curtains, turning the little specks of dust in the air into tiny fairies, dancing across their room, moving up and down like a wave. Waverly turned to look at Nicole next to her, her red hair still spilling across the pillow as she slept, her face turned towards her, drifting slightly, and her arm still flung over Waverly’s midriff. She leaned to kiss Nicole softly on the forehead, turning to look at their room. _Their_ room, _their_ flat. Waverly had taken over with most of the decorating, rustic wooden shelves hung in the corner, above the desk that Waverly was _supposed_ to use for writing, yet much to Nicole’s frustration ( _I built that desk with my own two hands)_ Waverly seemed to prefer writing anywhere but, (Nicole had once come home from practice to find Waverly writing on the kitchen floor, papers strewn across the tiles, and a look that said, _don’t disrupt me now,_ and Nicole guessed she wouldn’t be eating that night). Across the shelves were some of Waverly’s oldest and dearest possessions, her copies of _twins at StClare_ from when she was a child, her old rabbit toy, several of her old dictionaries from when she’d first started learning languages, French, and Latin, and Spanish, before everything had gone online and real life dictionaries became a thing of the past. Her old globe was also up there, her mother had given it to her as a child, it was faded and scarred from being in direct sunlight for twenty-five years, but if Waverly looked close enough she could still make out the names of countries, could still remember her mother’s hands on top of hers, pointing out all the places she wanted to go. _The world’s as big as you want it to be, Wave,_ she’d say, a sad crease in her eyes, staring at the snow out the window, which seemed to stretch as far as the eye could see. Waverly had once thought she could see the whole world from her window, she guessed her mother hadn’t felt same.

Nicole hadn’t brought much with her when they’d moved in, just her football gear, some clothes, her cat Calamity Jane, and an atlas she said her grandfather had given her before he died. Inside, in perfectly curled handwriting was written, _Dream big, Kitten._ Nicole tried to play it off, but Waverly had seen the smile that flushed her face when she ran her hand over it.  When Waverly had asked her about her lack of possessions, Nicole had told her that she moved about a lot as a child, that they didn’t take much with them. Nicole’s dad had moved around a lot for work when she was younger, something her mother had got sick of, eventually just staying behind, Nicole’s nightly story readings behind reduced to a visit once a year to California and a post-card in the mail on her birthday. Nicole said she was used to it, but sometimes Waverly still saw the sadness that came over her face when she talked about it, the same look she got when she thought about her own mother, the same sad crease her mother had got in her eyes when she told Waverly about _the big wide world,_ before she’d left to see it. She guessed that was something they had in common.

A ginger ball jumped onto the bed, striding towards Nicole, settling on sitting right next to her face, and mewing indignantly.

_Calamity,_ Waverly whispered, moving to pick the cat up and place her in her own lap, much to the cat’s anger, she began mewing angrily, trying to bat her with her paw. She’d never quite warmed to Waverly, and still remained fiercely loyal to Nicole, a tiny personal body guard. Waverly was too late in her grabbing of Calamity and Nicole started to move, her arms stretching as she moved her head off the pillow,

_“_ Hey _,”_ Waverly whispered, “sorry about Calam, I tried to move her,”

“It’s okay,” she said, moving to stroke Calam and kiss Waverly on the cheek. She slowly turned to see the alarm clock on the side of the bed, _08:12._ She sighed, “I probably should have been up a while ago,” she moved to get out of bed, but Waverly caught her by the arm. Out of all the things she admired about Nicole, her drive, her motivation one hundred percent of the time, was one of the things she found the most attractive, but at certain times, like right now, the last thing she wanted was for Nicole to be driven and motivated, she just wanted her to lie with her a little while longer, in their little, soft-lit, domesticated bubble.

“Just two seconds?” Waverly said, leaning in to kiss her,

“Waves, I’m already late for practice and you know it.” Nicole said, arching an eyebrow as Waverly attempted her best puppy-dog eyes. “Wynonna will be mad,” she said,

“Wynonna will understand,” Waverly said, pulling Nicole closer to her whilst trying to keep Calam at a distance (she’d been burned before – that was one possessive cat),

“When was the last time Wynonna was reasonable about anything?” Nicole grinned, resting her head against Waverly’s shoulder and pulling Calamity onto her stomach. Another cat jumped onto the bed, this one a grey tabby, slightly more energetic than Calamity, he bounded across the bed towards Nicole.

_‘Waverly we can’t get another cat,’_

_‘Why not?’_

_‘Because then in a year you’ll want another one and then slowly we’ll become walking stereotypes, just those crazy lesbian cat ladies,’ she laughed, ‘that’s what they’ll call us in the neighbourhood.’_

_‘So?’ Waverly said, picking up one of the tiny kittens from the pen (they’d only come to the pet store for cat litter) ‘Why do you care what they think? Plus Calam hates me, this one can be my cat, and then we’ll have a cat each.’ Waverly turned to look at Nicole and the combined cute of the tiny kitten and Waverly’s pout made Nicole give in._

_‘Fine, fine we can get another kitten,’_

_‘Thanks!’ Waverly said, reaching up to kiss Nicole on the cheek, ‘Because I’ve already named him, his name is Sundance, like Sundance Kid, that way we keep a theme, I’m thinking for the next one maybe Annie Oakley? Or Butch Cassidy? Or…’_

_Nicole stared at Waverly watching her speak, and realised this had never been her decision, she was and always had been wrapped around Waverly’s little finger._

Sundance tried to climb on top of Calam attempting to sit on Nicole’s shoulder and Waverly only shook her head as Calam tried to bat the younger kitten away. She’d got the kitten with the express wish of it being her cat this time, but the little kitten still preferred Nicole, as always. Waverly guessed she couldn’t argue with them, she too was drawn to Nicole, she snuggled closer to her.

“Maybe we could call the next one Buffalo Bill? Billie’s a cute nickname.”

“We’re not getting another cat,” Nicole said softly, trying to pull Sunny out of her hair. Even as she said it, she knew it wasn’t true, she knew in another year Waverly would ask for another and she would look into those bright, brown eyes and say yes, of course we can get another cat. Still, she maintained a small wall of fake defence, that much was expected.

She smiled up at Waverly. Tiny domesticated bliss.

“Hey I love you,” she said, moving her free hand to hold Waverly’s.

“I love you too, in fact-“She was interrupted by an aggressively loud knock on the door,

“Oi you two,”

Nicole groaned, moving to get out of the bed,

“No leave her” Waverly said,

The knock came at all, “Haught you’re late, I know you’re in there.”

“I have to get it,” Nicole said, but she was too late, the loud knocking had been replaced with a scraping in the lock.

“I forgot she had a key,” Waverly groaned. They had given Wynonna a key _once_ , to look after the cats and water the plants when they were in Costa Rica (When they got back their plants were dead and Wynonna had left the cupboard open, allowing Calam to eat two weeks’ worth of treats in one go.)

Wynonna marched into their room, rolling her eyes before pulling Nicole out of bed (luckily she was wearing pyjamas) and practically forcing her into the shower.

“Boundaries Wynonna, boundaries,” Waverly laughed, as Wynonna turned the shower on, shutting the bathroom door behind them, turning to look at Waverly,

“You, Waves, are a bad influence on her.” Wynonna said, flopping down onto the bed, a large black coat thrown over her usual football kit, a games bag thrown at her feet.

“It’s not her fault!” Waverly heard Nicole yell, her words muted through the bathroom door and she smiled as Wynonna yelled,

“You just focus on showering!”

From the red in her sister’s face, Waverly guessed she had already been running before practice, something that Wynonna three years ago never would have endorsed. Don’t get her wrong, Wynonna still liked to party, still liked to stay up all night drinking and wake up behind the bar to the pale sunrise of morning, but she also had finally learnt when to party and when to focus. Waverly guessed that’s what motherhood did to you. Wynonna didn’t see her daughter very often, she lived with her dad in another state, went to school there and just came home for the holidays, something that worked out best for both Doc and Wynonna. Wynonna was always away playing matches and didn’t want her daughter to move around, never properly getting a childhood, and Doc was so proud of Wynonna, wanted her to succeed, and besides he’d turned into the perfect father, even if he did dote on her a little too much. It had been hard at first, a couple of nights Waverly had woken up to find Wynonna, cross-legged in front of the fire, stroking a picture of the little girl, but they’d both settled into it. It was fine now (or as fine as it could be.) Waverly smiled at Wynonna,

“What?” 

“Nothing, just love you that’s all,” Waverly said, grinning and reaching to ruffle Wynonna’s hair, “and I’m proud of you,” Wynonna fake gagged and Nicole came out of the adjoining bathroom, a white towel wrapped around her and another around her hair, “you too babe,” she said to Nicole.

“Ugh, I swear you two are the worst, there’s something in the air in this house, I can feel it infecting me, with all your sappy words and nice gestures,” she stood up, pulling her coat down, “You, dressed, now,” she said, throwing Nicole’s football kit at her, “the girls are waiting.”

~


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you it would be less than a week! Here you go! Also, if I didn't mention it last week I'm english, and so this is english football (soccer). Also I apologise I know nothing about football, and I know nothing about America or Canada lol and if I do I learnt it from TV, so sorry if some of the references are english? I forget, let me live. Also, battle of the sexes was on my mind a bit when writing some of the group scenes (which like u should 100% see it it's incredible) and also bend it like beckham. Anyway, hope u enjoy.

“Finally decided to show up, hey Haught?” Rosita shouted through the pouring rain (which Nicole swore was turning into sleet – Wynonna was crazy, she never gave up on practice.)

“Still struggling to score huh Rosa?” Nicole grinned, relishing in the look of fury that passed across Rosa’s face, her hair already soaking wet and hanging down her face, before she kicked the ball at her feet straight into Hal’s stomach as she stood in goal, her knees buckling as she tipped to the floor.

“Thanks for that one, Haught.” Hal yelled from the floor, lifting up her arm to shoot her a perfectly formed middle finger.

“Sorry!” Nicole yelled, half laughing at the horrified expression on Rosa’s face as she ran over to her, offering her a hand to help her up,

“Thank god for padding right?” Hal said, as she leaned on Rosa’s shoulder.

With that a whistle blew, and through the pouring rain came a figure, much like the hero emerging from the fog, clipboard in hand, whistle in mouth and somehow still wearing a muscle t-shirt despite the weather. Xavier Dolls, Coach and owner of the Purgatory Panthers (and secretly, or not-so-secretly, seeing Wynonna on the side.)

“Okay, no messing around now, we won the last game, and we’re only going on from here, this is the furthest we’ve ever made it.”

A cheer echoed around the circle, and the girls huddled even closer together.

“But we’ve got to do it now, we’ve got to make it to the final tier.”

“Yes!” Wynonna screamed, and Dolls grinned at her fondly,

“That’s the spirit I’m looking for!”

Hal nudged Nicole and rolled her eyes, whispering, “And we _all_ know why she’s his favourite.” Nicole smirked, trying to hide behind her hand. She remembered the day her and Waverly turned up at Wynonna’s place half an hour early for ‘brunch’ (which in Wynonna’s book usually meant whatever she could find in the cupboards strewn across the plate), only to find Dolls stood in Wynonna’s kitchen, in his underwear, half a croissant in his mouth, caught like a deer in headlights. The pair of them stood, staring at him, eyebrows raised as he stumbled over his words, stuttering something about _extra training,_ before hurrying off to the bathroom. The both of them were the least subtle people on this earth.

“What’s funny Haught?” Dolls shouted, his ex-military voice coming into full play, and Wynonna shot her a look that said; _you’re in for it now._

“Nothing.” She said, as Dolls crossed his arms, not believing her for a second.

“Drop and give me twenty.” Dolls ordered and Nicole stared at the wet through grass that was beginning to become mud. She sighed, this would be painful. “Assume normal positions please ladies, we’re going to play five aside.”

~

Nicole finished the game, soaked to the skin, hair dripping water across her nose, her knee bleeding from a rather ruthless attack on Wynonna’s part that only received a yellow card, because she was the aforementioned _favourite,_ Wynonna sticking her tongue out at her from behind Dolls’ back. But as she left the pitch (it was somehow still raining) and entered the all too familiar changing rooms, she felt refreshed, exhilarated, alive. There was nothing better for Nicole than stepping into that hot shower afterwards, getting into new clothes, feeling euphoric and getting to banter with all her teammates. They were a family now, a tiny family stitched together, not perfectly seamless but still a unit.

~

Waverly tapped her fingernails against her laptop, watching the rain swirl outside the window, and trying not to get distracted thinking about Nicole, running around in the freezing cold, probably showering by now, running her hands through her hair. _Focus._ She was not supposed to be thinking about Nicole showering, she was supposed to be working. Waverly stared back at the article she was trying to write, on the new opening of Tom’s grocery store on the corner on Main Street, which was of course not what she wanted to be writing, not by a long shot. Her hand hovered over the ‘file’ button on word. _No._ Now was not the time for writing her own story, her own novel (dare she call it that – that sounded so official). Now was the time to write about Tom Maycock, who had known her father and whose father had known her grandfather and who she was probably somehow distantly related to, Tom who had never left Purgatory and never would.  The parallel’s to her own life only depressed her, she tried to think about herself, aged sixty, still shuffling the same old streets. No time for that now, that was a big problem, a middle of night, lay-awake, staring at the ceiling whilst Nicole slept kind of problem. Right now, she had work to do.

There was always work to do, never time to write what she wanted, she was the only writer left for the Purgatory Post, the last remaining writer had rather depressingly moved on to writing for the Huffington post. So it lay on Waverly’s shoulders, and she was long done telling herself _this will look good on my CV._ She did it out of loyalty, she did it out of guilt, she did it because she was a pushover. She sighed, closing her laptop. She was having a very uninspiring day, a grey aura hovering over her, matching the clouds outside. She leaned her head against her arms, turning to look at the swirling rain. Their top floor apartment allowed them to see out over the whole city, and although the view might not have been as impressive as the rolling land she could see from her childhood bedroom, right in that moment, Waverly got that same childhood feeling, as if she could see the whole world from her room. Her whole life was in Purgatory, and staring out the window pane, she felt the same as her mother had, all those years ago; entrapped, like a small figurine in a much bigger snow globe, that was getting smaller and smaller by the minute, the air getting thinner as she stared through the glass, wanting to go out there, to see the big, wide, world. _The world’s as big as you make it, Wave._ She’d held onto those words like golden thread, running them through her hands, wrapping them around her fingers, keeping them close to her heart, but when she looked down, she could see them starting to fray, _you’ve ignored everything your mother ever said._ Waverly shook it off, feeling her breath fall short. Now was not the time for a panic attack, it just wasn’t. She was just feeling sorry for herself, that was all. She was half convinced.

Her eyes drifted to the clock. S _hit._ She was running late for work, she’d told Shorty she’d cover for the new girl this afternoon. She jumped up, throwing clothes out of their bottom drawer before she found the top she was looking for, her trade mark _Shorty’s_ bar staff top. She stopped for a moment, crouched down on the floor, thumbing the fabric softly. She’d had this top since she was 16, back when Gus had to come drag her home at eleven o’clock, _because she has school in the morning._ Was it possible for one person to stay still for so long? She tried not to think about it.

~

Waverly leaned against the bar, half-heartedly cleaning the bar tap. The bar was busy, Waverly supposed it was the weather, or maybe the misery that had settled into her heart had made it into everyone else’s too, maybe they were here to drink it all away, which was unfortunately not something that Waverly could do herself.

Waverly heard a rowdy crowd from outside, her heart sinking even further, the last thing she needed was another whole group of men she’d known as a child either reminiscing about her daddy, or asking for her number. She shuddered to think of it. But when they came through the door, it was the team, led by Wynonna, four lines of mud across her face (Waverly didn’t even want to ask), her hair driven wild by the rain. She was followed by Nicole, dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and one of her trademark baseball tees (Nicole secretly didn’t even watch baseball, it was all a front, even if it _was_ a front which made her look good.) Waverly watched her walk, a small smile making its way to her lips, she was clearly already tipsy, and dressed as she was, she didn’t look that far off how she’d looked when they first met, at the opening season party, four years ago. Long before the team were in any leagues, when Wynonna was just a woman on a mission, and Waverly was on the edge of leaving Purgatory, until she was convinced to stay. She looked up at the old grandfather clock, Waverly wagered practice probably finished about two hours ago, no doubt the team had done their classic _drinking-beer-backs-to-the-walls_ in the changing room, not unlike the second time Waverly had ever spoken to Nicole. She saw Nicole scan the room, before her eyes landed on Waverly, her face lighting up.

“Waves!” she said, leaning across the bar, to place her forehead against Waverly’s, surprising her by kissing her on the lips, in front of the bar. Nicole, who was usually so bashful about public affection, was right there in the middle of the bar where Waverly worked, kissing her. Waverly took a moment to register it. Unfortunately it didn’t last long before earning a hoot from several of the regular customers as Waverly pulled away.

“Now that’s enough boys,” Shorty said, turning towards Waverly, “back to work Waverly yeah?” his face red, not in a _an-employee-is-kissing-another-woman-in-my-bar way_ but more in a _I’ve-known-you-since-you-were-born_ kind of way,

“Yeah, of course,” she said, as Nicole drunkenly took a seat at one of the bar stools, taking a cap one of the staff had left on the side, and placing it on her head, leaning her head on one arm as she stared at Waverly. Waverly grinned, forgetting about her earlier mood, the ensemble of the clothes, the doe-eyes, the innocent drunkenness, was enough to make her melt a little, it was somehow simultaneously both hot and cute. Especially the hat, she made a mental note of that. Waverly placed a final kiss on Nicole’s cheek before turning back to the beer tap, “One beer coming up,” she grinned.

“Make that 12,” shouted Dolls from behind Nicole, where the whole team had congregated on chairs around the pool table in the top corner, Wynonna practically sat on top of Dolls (real subtle.) “And, put it on the tab, Waverly.”

“Sure thing,” she said, turning to Nicole as she began to pour the beers, “Do you want to go sit with the rest of them, babe, I’ll bring the drinks up?”

Nicole’s brow furrowed, leaning further onto the bar, “I’ve been with them all day,” she tried to reach her hand out to touch Waverly who retracted, very aware she was under watch from Shorty who was trying to tend to about five other drinks orders at the front of the bar, “I want to see you.” She said, laughing slightly. God. Waverly looked back at the clock, another two hours till she was off, it was going to be a long shift that was for sure.

~

Waverly placed all the beers onto the tray, walking up to the top corner,

“Hey the beers are here!” Wynonna shouted, throwing her arm around Waverly’s shoulder, “Three cheers for Waverly!” Wynonna shouted, and Waverly half-laughed, half-cringed, sensing this would be one of those nights that she wound up peeling Wynonna off the bar floor. She hadn’t seen that since the last time Dolls had to go away, (Waverly wagered Dolls was about half of Wynonna’s impulse control.) She placed the tray down on one of the tables, catching Rosa’s arm before turning back.

“Hey you okay, Waves?” Rosa said, her hair curled softly around her face, as it did when it got wet, and then air-dried. Waverly knew Rosa well enough to know those kind of things about her now. She knew Rosa was great at gin rummy but terrible at operation, she knew she always had to eat before she showered and she sometimes secretly pretended to drink her shot only to throw it in the plant. These girls were almost like family to her too, now. She was starting to remember all the good things about staying in one place, a careful canvas of her life, stitched and settled and secure.

“Yeah I’m good, I’m just on shift,” Waverly paused, shooting a glance to where Nicole was standing, leaning against the pool table, watching Kit play and making comments about her lack of aim (as the balls went straight in the pockets) “and well can you just make sure Nicole stays here?”

Rosa laughed, turning to where Nicole had now picked up a cue, waving it excitedly (Waverly was sure somebody was going to get hit) “She distracting you?”

“Something like that,” Waverly said, returning to where she could see Shorty looking pointedly at her, the line getting bigger and bigger at the bar.

~

Waverly was right. The shift dragged, even though it was busy, the constant niggle of being able to see all her friends in the corner of her eye, made her more uncomfortable than she thought it would. She fake smiled at all the regulars, poured drinks, laughed at jokes she only half heard, but even Shorty could read her body language, eventually letting her go early with an eye roll, and a nod that seemed to say, _you owe me Earp._ Another perk to staying still, bosses who were also friends. Bosses who were there moments after your own birth. Life was absurd.

Waverly removed her apron, placing it on the side, before going to join her friends.

“Oh Waverly!” Wynonna said, leaning on Dolls’ shoulder, as she swung round, Dolls trying to keep her upright. “You made it!”

“I’ve been here the whole time, idiot.” She said, reaching up to high five Wynonna’s outstretched hand, and raising her eyebrows at Dolls.

“I’m handling it,” he said, lifting Wynonna back up again.

Waverly walked past, to where Nicole was sat in an armchair, her sleeves rolled up and her hair falling around her face and out from under the hat she was still wearing. God she looked good in a cap. Waverly cursed that Nicole didn’t play a sport that was more cap-appropriate, say golf, or baseball. Kit looked up when she saw Waverly, her face breaking out into a grin, pausing dealing the cards.

“Finally decided to join us huh?”

“Asshole.” Waverly said and Nicole looked up, her face lighting up when she saw her, reaching up to pull her down onto her lap, Waverly’s brown leather boots nearly knocking over Allison’s drink in the process.

“Whoah” Waverly said, shooting an apologetic look at Ally but still obliged in kissing Nicole. Kit rolled her eyes, taking a long swig of her drink before exclaiming,

“Alright lovebirds, are we playing or are we playing?”

~

It was late before everyone started to peel off. Dolls took Wynonna home early, once she started to try and take on a biker gang who were passing through he figured it was probably time to call it night. Waverly watched him from the window drive decidedly in the opposite direction of the old homestead, clearly heading for the city and his place (really subtle.) The rest of them left one by one until Shorty, his eyes tired, handed Waverly the keys asking if she would wait for the stragglers and lock up afterwards. The two guys at the bar took that as their cue to leave, thanking Waverly as she pointed them in the direction of the (huge) door, checking to make sure they weren’t planning on driving anywhere.

That left only Rosa, Nicole and Waverly, the three of them sitting with their backs to the walls, Waverly’s head on Nicole’s shoulder, taking turns at playing never have I ever.  
_Never have I ever pulled an all-nighter?_  Waverly said, earning cries of _boring!_ from both girls, _I couldn’t think of anything okay?_

Before long, Rosa left too, Waverly shutting the heavy wooden door behind her, turning round to (a slightly more sober now) Nicole.

“What should we do with this big empty bar all to ourselves?” Waverly said, standing on her tip toes to place her arms around Nicole’s neck.

“Hmm isn’t that a good question?” Nicole said, leaning down to meet Waverly’s mouth with her own, but before she could Waverly reached upwards, stealing Nicole’s hat, running off with it, grinning and leaving a rather bewildered Nicole leaning against the front door, running her hands through her hair.

“Oh it’s like that is it?” she said, as Waverly leaned against the bar, spinning the hat in her hands.

She rushed after her, catching her against the bar, pinning her, two arms either side of her waist, and leaning down to kiss her. The hat was forgotten, dropped from Waverly’s hand and down onto the floor of the bar. The next day she would find it there, still abandoned on the floor, and smirk, twirling it once more. Nicole propped Waverly up on the bar, continuing to kiss her as Waverly tried to remove her top. She was only half ashamed to say this wasn’t the first time she’d had sex at her workplace, at least this time Wynonna wasn’t still in the toilets, to walk in on them, Waverly prayed Shorty would never install security cameras. She pulled her own top over her head, somehow getting stuck in the process.

“Nicole, please help me.” She complained, but Nicole could only laugh, slapping her hand against the bar, all bar-related sex activities forgotten for the moment. “It’s not funny!” Waverly insisted, trying to move her arms some more and instead just flailing, causing Nicole to double over with laughter. “Help me!”

“Okay, okay,” Nicole said, still giggling, as she helped Waverly take her top off, her face bright red and pouting underneath.

“It wasn’t funny.” She frowned.

“No of course not,” Nicole smirked, leaning down to place a kiss on Waverly’s pouted lips. “Now where were we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know what u think, comments always mean a lot! Also, I have a vague idea where this is going, but it's always great to get feedback!   
> Also, feel free to follow me/come talk to me on my tumblr; waverlystation  
> Have a nice day!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Within the week! I'm acing this schedule (beware uni starts back up in a week so if I fall of the face of this earth, that's why lol). I have a plan for this fic going forward, so hopefully all should go well, I'm thinking about making Sunday the upload day from now on, so hopefully this should start going up every Sunday.

Nicole was still fast asleep when Waverly got up, which was nice for a change. Usually Nicole was the one up early doors, (not that nine could be considered early doors, really) off to practice, but today she was struggling to even open her eyes. Wynonna had (very wisely) called off practice that morning and so Waverly silently dressed, relishing Nicole’s eyes on her.

“Are you sure you can’t stay?” Nicole said, trying to push herself up on her pillow, before wincing.

“No, sorry babe got research to do.” Waverly said, leaning to kiss Nicole on the head.

“Proud of you babe, always so busy.” Nicole grinned, and Waverly moved to kiss her properly, Nicole leaning back into her pillow again. Waverly sighed, feeling Nicole’s warmth beside her, and the cosiness of the bed, she was tempted to stay. She shook her head, _focus._

“Sorry babe, I’ve got to go, I’ve left a glass of water and some paracetamol by the bed.” She lingered in the doorway, “Love you.”

She faintly heard a _love you too_ as she closed the door behind her.

~

Waverly practically skipped to the library, her long cardigan flowing around her, the day freezing but bright. The kind of air that lingered on the skin and reminded you you were alive, the cold air that brought the clarity. Waverly wished now that she’d brought her sunglasses. She felt happy, her worries from yesterday forgotten for now, lost up in the clouds above, as she stared up at the big building looming before her. There was something about Nicole that made her feel calm, that reminded her why she’d stayed, and that made staying worth it. She guessed a stationary life wasn’t so bad, when you had Nicole by your side. Waverly pushed open the big double doors, laptop and a list of books tucked firmly in her bag, ready to face the day.

~

Nicole groaned, turning over to find herself being smothered by two cats, where Waverly normally was. She moaned again, Calam mewing and patting her hair with her paw. There was a loud noise. _Her phone was ringing?_ Somehow it felt like the noise was coming from a parallel world, through the fog. Maybe she was just still half asleep. She fumbled around the bedside table, knocking water all over the floor, grimacing as she picked up the phone.

“Yes?” she sighed, her voice a croak. She swore she was on the surface on the sun, it was that bright in the room.

“You sound about as bad as I feel,” came an equally grainy voice.

“Wynonna?”

“The one and only,”

“What do you want Wy?” Nicole complained, already contemplating hanging up and pulling the duvet back over her head, half of it damp now, and all of it infested with cats.

“I’m calling a meeting,”

Nicole groaned, “Why on earth would you do that?”

“Cos I hate myself,” Wynonna laughed, “or because Dolls said he’s got some important information about sponsorship or some shit.” She mumbled, “Jammy bastard never seems to get a hangover.”

 “Why is he there with you?” Nicole teased, as if Waverly hadn’t nudged her as they were driving away, _he’s taking Wynonna to his place._ As if everyone in the world didn’t know they were fucking.

“No of course not!” Wynonna’s voice raised a whole octave, “Why would you say that?”

Nicole only laughed, “When is this meeting?” she said,

“Ten minutes, so you better get your arse in gear.”

Nicole groaned, turning back over and trying to bury her problems in the duvet.

~

Waverly got her favourite seat. She sat up on the fourth floor, in a big armchair by the big open windows. It was right by the classics section, and far enough away from the computers that she managed to avoid the high school students, desperately trying to print off their homework last minute. She’d bought a triple shot caramel mocha from the café downstairs, she’d laid out her highlighters in perfect formation, and she’d opened her computer, a familiar document lurking underneath the screen. Her novel (the word still felt wrong in her mouth). She’d been writing sections of it since she graduated high school, a chapter here and there, but had never thought anything of it, till Nicole had found it on her computer, and had insisted she write more. Like a personal cheerleader, she’d kept her going. Waverly had been trying to develop it for the better part of a year, working on it in between articles, and going to games, and working at Shorty’s, and trying to complete her online Latin courses. She was determined that this was her year. She settled further into the chair, moving her laptop closer to her as she re-read the last thing she’d wrote.

~

“Why are we here Wynonna?” Kit said, looking as if she wanted to climb into the table itself, her head firmly placed against the oak, and dark sunglasses hiding her eyes. Nicole would wager that she hadn’t brushed her hair that morning.

“Take it away, Dolls.” She said, gesturing to where Dolls was sat on a table near the front, nursing a coffee (black), a tight t-shirt hugging his chest (white.)

“I have some good news,” he grinned, letting the pause linger on a little too long, considering the room was filled with hungover girls who already wanted to murder him, “we’ve got ourselves a sponsor!”

There was a faint round of gasps, to which Wynonna looked smug. _See I told you it’d be worth it._

“Fantasia have offered to sponsor us.”

Nicole raised her eyebrows, and even Kit lifted her head from the table. Fantasia was a big deal (in Purgatory). It was the only industry left in the town, and the factory employed half of the people. Their strawberry fizz was somewhat famous for having so much sugar in it that it once made a man drive his car into the lake (Nicole assumed the sugar content had been reduced since then, then again that had never been confirmed.) For most Purgatory citizens it just held memories of parties and summer days (usually mixed with some kind of alcohol), or reminded them of the annual Fantasia celebration day, where they would throw candy from the windows of the factory, and hide it all around the town, like Halloween but nobody outside of Purgatory would ever remember it (or believe you.)

“The point is,” Dolls continued, knowing he’d done well, “sponsorship means more funding - ”

“Which means more practice,” Wynonna interjected, which was greeted with a slight groan from several still hungover girls, who received a classic Wynonna glare, “more equipment, more advertising, we can finally fix the showers-“

“And more pay.” Dolls continued, which was met by a round of cheers and applause. Nicole knew that at least two of the girls had to work other jobs at the same time. She thought of Waverly’s little frown as she glanced over the paper stacked up on the kitchen counter. They could pay their bills, Nicole knew that, but only just, and only their bills. She lit up, she couldn’t wait to tell Waverly. “God knows you girls deserve it Dolls grinned and Wynonna slapped him on the shoulder, causing him to light up even more. Nicole and Rosa shared a knowing glance.

“To the Purgatory Panthers!” Wynonna shouted, raising her take-out coffee cup.

~

Waverly was two pages into writing when she heard a familiar voice from behind her.

“Waverly? Waverly Earp? Is that you?” She turned around, her eyes focusing on a face she hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Jeremy?” she squealed, placing her laptop down on the table. “Jeremy Chetri? What are you doing here?” She jumped up, hugging him.

Jeremy had been somewhat of a rock for Waverly when she was in high school. A fellow science and languages ~~nerd~~ enthusiast, he was there for her during some of the hardest years of her life, when Wynonna was gone all the time and Waverly had absolutely no one else. When she was struggling with trying to balance being there for her family and her own dreams, trying to work out her identity and her role in her own life. Jeremy had moved away from Purgatory straight out of high school, he had a thousand offers from a thousand different colleges, each offering him a future bright, and he headed off into the sunset, his path clear-cut from crystal. Of course, Waverly had also got a thousand offers, but she’d stayed, she couldn’t be the third daughter to leave, she couldn’t abandon Gus, and so she was tied there. Purgatory was her home, then and forever. Waverly had forgotten why in all the haze. So she’d watched everyone else leave, from the same spot she was now, watching the sun stretch over the town. She and Jeremy had vowed to stay in touch, she’d phoned him once a week for the first semester of college, before they’d started to slide. Nowadays they just followed each other on Instagram, occasionally commenting, _miss you,_ but never doing anything about it. Last time she’d seen him had been just after his graduation, about three years ago. Waverly realised anything could have happened to him since.

“How have you been?” he said, falling into the armchair opposite Waverly, the same grin she remembered plastered across his face. It was so nice to bump into an old friend, and not feel the dying of the flame, but rather still feel the warm fire lick against the edges. To not feel a lull in conversation, but to feel her words spilling over the edges inside, she had so much to say all at once.

“Same old, I guess.” Waverly said, “Oh! I got engaged.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes, “That’s not same old. I saw the pictures, they were so cute.” He laughed, “I’m going to have to meet Nicole one of these days.”

“She’s a footballer, on the same team as Wynonna in fact.”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows, “You hate sports.” He said pointedly.

“I like girls who play sports,” Waverly grinned,

“Fair.” Jeremy smiled,

“What about you?”

“I just got off a plane actually,” Jeremy said, running a hand through his hair, “I’ve been in Geneva for a few months, been working on gene therapy, what they’re doing there is truly,” he paused, shaking his head, “it’s amazing.” He stopped himself, noticing Waverly’s face fall briefly before she composed her trademark smile again. “You’re not interested,” he said, laughing.

“No I am!” Waverly insisted, “Geneva, wow!”

But she was struggling, she could herself being slowly flipped upside down. Of course she was happy for Jeremy, she was beyond proud to have seen him grow for a small boy with braces who was overly smart and struggled to speak to anyone, to a scientist of importance, someone who people had to listen to, and who wanted to. But she felt as if she were seeing a mirror image of herself, herself in the upside down world. She’d got the same grades as Jeremy in school, got an offer from the exact same university in fact, and she couldn’t help but imagine herself, off in an office somewhere, commanding an audience, discovering and translating old runes, working on her novel on the side. _It’s not too late._ She thought to herself, but then time went so fast, the last seven years since finishing high school had run through her hands like water, and instead of catching them, she’d let them fall. And now all she had was a pool of water, getting higher and higher, licking against her upper rib cage.

Jeremy looked at her quizzically, but instead of voicing any of it to him, instead of voicing any of it to Nicole or Wynonna or even Gus, she just swallowed it, as always, and smiled, tilting her head;

“So, Geneva? Did you meet any cute European boys?”

Waverly wondered if one day she was going to explode.

~

“So,” Rosa said, as the meeting began to wind down, “any more updates on the wedding?” she said, throwing her arm around Nicole’s shoulder. For a bunch of women so into football, they were all very into weddings (because stereotypes weren’t real) or they were just very supportive of Nicole. Either way, it brought a small glow to Nicole’s heart.

“Yeah it’s coming along,” she grinned. Her life was falling perfectly into place. Her football career was taking off, she got to spend nearly every day with her best friends, girls who had become sisters to her, she had a support network and was engaged to the love of her life. Baby Nicole whose parents had always preferred her brother, who had cut her off when she came out, who sent a Christmas card once a year, just to be courteous, who had never even met Waverly, could never have imagine anything like this. Nicole still got emotional when she thought about it, half wishing she could sent a note back to herself, who had never believed it would get better. Because it had got so much better than Nicole could have ever imagined.

“You better make us all bridesmaids,” Kit yelled from the back of the group, causing a stir of laughter to ripple through the crowd,

“What all ten of you?” Nicole grinned, “Big wedding.”

“Eleven!” Dolls yelled from the back,

“You all know who better be maid of honour,” Wynonna laughed, “considering it is my sister you’re defiling and all.” Nicole rolled her eyes as Wynonna threw an arm around her, her Wynonna and Rosa walking in a line across the car park, the cold air nipping at her skin, and the sun shining bright down on them.

Nicole truly couldn’t be any happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope all's going well :) It's my final exam for autumn semester tomorrow as well! Then I'm free of assessments for a bit, hope any exams/assessments go well for you :) Let me know what you thought! Also, I wrote another fic this week focused on Wynonna and Waverly's relationship through the years if you want to check that out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late, but i was too hungover yesterday oops just couldn't face it. Also, for those concerned this chapter is very angsty but it's all part of a planned plot, never fear! (I really can't say anything more than that). Also, I started uni again today and am already super busy/stressed so sorry if this becomes infrequent (4 weeks consistent is pretty good for me tbh). Thank you so much for over 100 kudos also!! It means a lot that u guys are enjoying this story :)

Waverly wasn’t sure how long she’d stared into the fire. She’d made it through her conversation with Jeremy, put on her best _I’m fine I promise_ face (she wasn’t sure Jeremy was convinced), before he had to catch a train to Toronto, and she had to come to her flat, always within the borderlines of Purgatory. They’d made a plan to meet up soon. Waverly was hoping it would help deconstruct him as a person, show her that he didn’t lead this perfect mirror life, that his life was also cracked slightly. That, and she felt guilty for not being enthusiastic enough today. She could be selfish sometimes, or at least she thought so. Waverly shifted, settling further into the pillow. There a small rot in her stomach which she just couldn’t seem to cough out.  She felt bad, she had money and a family and a brilliant fiancée and here she was, wallowing in sadness. It felt wrong. It felt like she was snubbing everyone out there with bigger problems (they’ll always be somewhere with bigger problems). Still, as she felt the warmth from the roaring fire prickle against her skin, she couldn’t help but wonder why it wasn’t evaporating the deep well of water within, fizzling up like smoke. She stared at the ceiling. _Lighten up Waverly._

She heard a scratch of a key in the door, letting out a groan. Interaction was not what she needed at that moment. She didn’t need Nicole, who was always so understanding, so supportive, so nice. She didn’t want to talk, she wanted to wallow in her sadness, in the dark alone, like she was still a thirteen year old girl with all the angst in the world. The waves knocked against her skin.

“Wave?” Nicole called from the front door. She seemed to be in a better mood that usual, a large grin on her face, which considering the state Waverly had left her in that morning seemed almost miraculous. Nicole moved to flick the light switch on, causing Waverly to throw a hand over her eyes, her groan intensifying.

“Oh sorry, babe.” Nicole said, turning the light back off, the grin falling from her face to be replaced with her classic concerned look (Waverly hated to be the one to make her lose her smile, she just wanted her to disappear, so she could be alone her in misery)

“Are you not feeling well?” Nicole moved to sit on the sofa, by Waverly’s waist, placing a hand against her forehead.

Waverly turned away, deliberately not looking Nicole in the eyes. Nicole frowned. “I think it’s just a headache or something.”

Nicole frowned again, “Well you _do_ feel warm, hard to tell with the fire going full blast though.” Nicole took her jacket off, lying it against the arm of the sofa. “It’s like a sauna in here.”

“Sorry,” Waverly said softly, still avoiding eye contact.

Nicole frowned once more, Waverly was hardly ever without a smile (she had won nicest person in Purgatory three years in a row).

“Are you sure it’s just a headache?” she said, her voice so full of compassion Waverly thought she was going to die of guilt. Here was Nicole, Nicole who was always there for her, Nicole who was lovely and supportive, who she lived with, co-raised cats with, who she was marrying, who she was supposed to share her life with. And yet something rattled inside her throat, black as poison, dug deep inside. A deep, low feeling always present like sediment under the sea, stirred up in the last few weeks; spiralling and always on her mind. Yet, when she turned to Nicole, the love of her life, she just couldn’t bring herself to say it. Where to start? Waverly felt like seeping black ink, her feelings were going to hurt Nicole, yet her secret hurt Nicole too. She needed Nicole to disappear, so she could be alone, where she couldn’t ruin anything, where she couldn’t hurt her.

“It’ll be fine,” she said softly,

Nicole raised her eyebrows doubtfully but decided not to push the matter. She picked at the skin on her left thumb, and felt herself biting at her lip. “Do you mind if I join you?” she murmured. And that was the last thing Waverly wanted, but turning to look in Nicole’s deep brown eyes, and the hope that lay beyond them, the flush in her cheeks from the heat of the fire, and her hair that was curling under her chin, still slightly damp from the rain, the way she bit her lip and her hands tapped against her jeans, Waverly felt herself melt a little.

“Sure,” she said softly, letting Nicole lie down behind her, one hand falling over her stomach and Nicole’s head nestled into Waverly’s shoulder, she kissed her gently on her neck.

“You know you can tell me anything right?” Nicole whispered and Waverly felt her body tense, a spike of guilt in her stomach once more. Because how could she tell Nicole? How could she tell her that she was struggling with her life, that she wanted more than Purgatory, that she needed to start running, do something new? How could she tell Nicole, who was in a domestic bubble, who was ready to be married, who was ready to move into a slightly bigger suburban house, who was dedicated to their future, to her future with Waverly? She couldn’t risk telling her, couldn’t risk uprooting her life. Starting fresh would mean, at best, Nicole putting her life on hold, and at worst, it could mean losing Nicole – something that Waverly didn’t want to consider. _She loved Nicole._ She could live with her decision. _She could live with her decision._ Right?

But she didn’t say any of that. Her tongue was ash inside her mouth (and not just from the heat of the house.)

Instead, she just said “I know.”

~

When Waverly woke up she had a crick in her neck and two cats straddled across her face. Well, they were straddled across Nicole’s face, but considering Nicole’s direct proximity to her face, Waverly got half the brunt of it too. Nicole’s arms were clutched around her waist and they were both wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Waverly watched Nicole, her eyelids fluttering as she slept, perfectly peaceful. Waverly felt the same stab of guilt in her stomach that was becoming familiar. _No._ She thought. The first thing you’re supposed to eat in the morning is fruit (not guilt). She couldn’t remember where she read that.

She checked her phone,

_So happy to see you, can’t wait to see you at the match!! Save me a hot dog._

Jeremy. The most well-meaning person on this earth. Who she also hadn’t been there for. _No._ She wasn’t going to let this spiral, she’d seen what running from her feelings had done to Wynonna, and she had made a vow to never let herself get that bad. She wouldn’t wallow. She would think this through, and when she had a plan she would tell Nicole. She just needed time. That would be easier to find right?

~

Which is how she found herself half way across town, stood in front of the house of her childhood, hand hovering over the front door. She still felt a chill from this place. She knew for a fact Wynonna flat out refused to come anywhere near the old Earp homestead, and right now as the wind ran through her hair, seeming to rattle through her sleeves and into her bones, she didn’t blame her. There was an energy in this house that she wasn’t in any hurry to experience again. She still felt as if she was going to wake and find her sister snarling, or her dad yelling, or the sadness in her mother’s eyes. She still felt as if she were going to enter to the thick black fog that hung in the air following Willa’s death. Felt as if she were struggling to breathe again. She didn’t care that most of her memories of Willa were tainted with fear, that kind of thing still never leaves you. There was a time in Waverly’s life, a time that had been so filled with fear and dread and darkness that she’d wished for the simple life she had now. She cursed herself for it not being enough.

She knocked and the door creaked open, revealing Gus’s face, a look of happy surprise written across her face.

~

When Nicole woke up she was alone. She pulled Sunny from where he was perched on her head, moving him down to her stomach. She didn’t even hear Waverly leave.

“Wave?” But the house had no answer, only silence. Nicole frowned, it wasn’t like Waverly to leave without telling her, something was definitely wrong. Her eye caught a note on the table.

_Sorry to leave, you looked too peaceful to wake. I’ve gone to visit Gus, something I needed to do I think. Will probably stay the night, see you at the game tomorrow?_

The game. _Shit!_ Her eyes tore to the clock, she was going to be late for practice. She jumped up, making the two cats jump in fear. She had three missed calls from Wynonna and one from Rosa. She ran around the house, throwing her kit on without time for a shower, quickly grabbing her bag before hurtling out of the door. She only had time to think about Waverly when she found herself in morning traffic on the way to practice, her hand knocking against the steering wheel, the radio hissing in the background. She bit her lip, she hoped she was okay. She was sure it would be. She was sure?

~

“I’m surprised to see you,” Gus said, pouring Waverly a cup of herbal tea, “not that I’m not pleased, just with the game being tomorrow I assumed I’d just see you there?”

“I know,” Waverly shrugged her coat off, hanging it on the back of the wooden chair (the same chair Willa had once pushed her off as a child, resulting in a split lip.) “I just needed to speak to you.” Waverly tried (and failed) to keep her voice steady, feeling her bottom lip begin to tremor.

Gus raised her eyebrows, her eyes full of concern as she pulled up a chair for Waverly, noticing the absent way to she sat herself down. “Something serious I’ll bet?” she said. Waverly bit at her nails like she hadn’t since she was a small child. Gus pulled her tea closer to her, wrapping her hands around it, “Right, hit me with it.” Always so direct.

Waverly took a deep breath, “I’m having problems.” She said, staring into the wooden grain of the table, tapping her nails against her mug.

“Could you be any vaguer?” Gus said, making Waverly smile, noting Waverly’s silence, Gus continued “Is it Nicole?”

“God no,” Waverly exclaimed, “Nicole’s perfect, always has been.” She could whole-heartedly say that was true, for all the secrets she had been keeping, she hadn’t been dishonest about her feelings for Nicole, she _did_ love Nicole, she _did_ want to marry her, she _did_ want to grow old with her. She just wasn’t sure that was _all_ she wanted.

“Then what, love?” Gus said, reaching out to hold Waverly’s hand. Waverly’s eyes fell upon an old framed picture, her and Wynonna in that very kitchen, both covered in flour, proudly holding out gingerbread man. Her mother lurked vaguely in the corner, a sad sort of smile written across her face. Waverly would put her age at two maybe, three at a push. She turned back around to face Gus, her hands beginning to shake.

“I’ve just been here for so long.” she said softly, a small tear leaking from her eye, as Gus reached out to wipe it away. And it wasn’t her mother’s hand, but it was the closest she had now. The whole world had changed and Waverly had stayed still. “I’ve been here my whole life,” she said, slowly, as if she was struggling to form the words, “everybody’s left to do other things, to be successful, to live their lives, and I’ve stayed here.” She said, feeling her words come faster now, spiralling, “And why? Out of loyalty? Out of guilt or fear?” she choked. “I feel like I’m going to die having never seen any of the world, having only seen this old town, and I just feel so trapped, and now I’m settling down and that’s it, I’m destined to be a wife, to never have lived any of my dreams.” She breathed heavily, Gus placing an arm softly around her shoulder, sensing she wasn’t yet done. “I don’t even know what I want to do, I just want the chance to do something,” she paused, tilting her head as if she was considering something, “remember the night I met Nicole?” Gus murmured, confirming she did, “I was all set on leaving, I had some money stashed up, and I was going to go away for a bit, live in Toronto, apply to some colleges, maybe get a job, who knows, and then I saw her across the room, and before I knew it I had another reason to stay.”

Waverly breathed, looking Gus in the eyes. Gus smiled softly at her, “This is all perfectly normal, Waverly, there’s no reason that a bright and deserving girl like you should be stuck here still.”

“But Nicole?” Waverly interjected.

“Does she know?” Gus said, and Waverly shook her head. “Tell her.” Gus said softly, placing a hand on Waverly’s shoulder.

“But what if…” Waverly trailed off, she couldn’t bring herself to say it.

“That girl loves you with all her heart,” Waverly blushed, “you’d have to be a fool not to see that. At the end of the day, it’ll be hard, but relationships are all about work.” She paused, thinking, “So, you put off the wedding, you put your lives on hold, you have all the time in the world, love.” Gus’ words eased her a little, she felt calmer. “You don’t have to jeopardise your relationship to live your dreams, Waverly. But I promise you, the longer you hide this, the worse it’ll get.” Gus said sternly.

Waverly looked up at Gus, the woman who’d raised her. Who’d taken over without any complaint after her father died, after her sister died. Who’d seen two tiny troubled girls and taken them under her wing. Who’d been there for her time and time again. The bravest woman she knew. And the wisest. She always had the right words.

“I have to tell her.” Waverly said, her words weighing heavy on her heart. Gus smiled knowingly. “After the game, though.”

The decision made Waverly feel lighter already. Maybe it would be a good thing to go to the game, to support Nicole, to grin and shout, to be around Gus and Jeremy and see all her sisters do their thing, to let go of the black fog before she told Nicole. She was feeling hopeful about it. She was feeling hopeful about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you have a great day! As always my tumblr is waverlystation (please follow me lol).


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol might have to make this a monday update from now on seen as i can't seem to stick to a schedule lol. In other news this week i joined a gym and I'm a week ahead of my work?? who am i anymore who knows? this is kind of mostly fluff/filler I guess, but it's part of the plan, and i hope you enjoy a reprise from the angst. Next week's is already half written so with any luck should be up on time next week!

Waverly could hear the grounds filling up behind her. She’d driven all the way here in Gus’ truck, her leg tapping, Gus placing a reassuring hand on her knee. Now that she’d made her decision, the tight coil inside her had started to unravel, the anxiety buzzing in her veins had become excitement; hence the tapping.

As soon as the car parked up, she’d bee-lined for backstage, making Ronnie (the usual security guard) let her into the changing rooms (she’d once taught Ronnie’s kid Spanish pro-bono, so he owed her one.) She’d left Gus behind in the car park, giving her Jeremy’s number, and promising to meet them in the stands a little while, Gus hadn’t even time to ask her what was happening before she’d shot off, half-running across the concrete. Right now, she wanted to see Nicole. She didn’t want her to start her big game thinking they were fighting, she didn’t want to throw her off, this game was key to the team’s success.

~

“Hey Guys,” she drawled, wrapping her pink, fluffy coat tighter around herself, “Can I borrow Nicole? One second I promise.” She grinned.

“Hey!” came a chorus, and Rosa grinned at her extra wide.

Wynonna raised her eyebrows, “I said no distractions!” she said sternly, “And that includes you Waves, she’ll see you later.”

Waverly pouted, “Please,” she said, “it’ll only be a second, it’s really important.”

Rosa raised her eyebrows, “You’re way too intense, Wy, just let her go, we’ve got twenty minutes.”

“I just want what’s best for the team –“ the team groaned around her, Kit basically pushing Nicole to go to Waverly. “Fine!” Wynonna exclaimed, “Two minutes, tops, I’m counting.”

Waverly took Nicole by the hand, leading her round the corner to a corridor she knew was empty.

“What’s this about?” Nicole said, still looking concerned, her brow furrowing in a way Waverly found completely adorable, her hair pushed back with an alice band (she’d cut it too short for it to be tied back effectively – which she thought would get her out of the dumb braid tradition, but Wynonna had only grinned, throwing her an alice band, and introducing her to the somehow uglier alice band tradition.)

“I want to apologise for yesterday, I was feeling bad and I took it out on you, and I didn’t want you to go out there today thinking I was mad at you.” Waverly looked up gingerly, and Nicole grinned down at her, twirling her hair between her fingers.

“You know I could never be mad at you.” Nicole said, reaching out an arm above Waverly’s head, pressing them together against the wall.

Waverly grinned, now when she looked at Nicole, she didn’t feel guilt, she was able to feel the warmth in the pit of her stomach again. “Well I have something to talk to you about later,” Waverly said, smiling and placing a hand on Nicole’s hip, “It’s kind of really important.”

“Hmm,” Nicole said, her brow furrowing once more in the way Waverly found all too cute, “I hope it’s nothing too serious, because –“ Nicole never got to finish her sentence before Waverly pressed her lips against Nicole’s, stretching upwards, to move her free hand into Nicole’s hair. Nicole was still at first, a little bewildered by the kiss that seemed to come out of nowhere, but before long she leaned forward, deepening the kiss, and pressing Waverly further into the wall until they were pressed against each other. She moved her hand down to Waverly’s waist, bringing her closer towards her own hips.

“Haught!” came a shout from the other side of the corridor, making Nicole jump, knocking her forehead against Waverly’s. “Waverly, this is not what I would consider urgent!” Wynonna yelled, Jesus she could be loud. Behind her Rosa sniggered.

“If anything it’s gonna help,” Waverly shrugged, Nicole hiding her blushing face behind her arm.

Wynonna marched over, grabbing Nicole’s arm and pushing her in Rosa’s direction. “Final pep talk, one minute!” she said, as Rosa and Nicole rounded the corner, Rosa half pulling Nicole, her face bright red.

“Do you have to be such a cockblock?” Waverly rolled her eyes,

“Technically, neither of you have cocks,” Wynonna laughed, throwing her arm around Waverly’s, “besides you’re lucky I’m letting this happen at all.”

“Letting?” Waverly rolled her eyes, “You know you don’t actually own either of us right?”

“That’s what you’d like to think.” Wynonna grinned, pausing a moment to look Waverly in the eyes. “Honestly I’m just glad to see you so happy.” She said, pushing a strand of hair out of Waverly’s face. “Nicole said you stayed at Gus’ last night?” Waverly turned her hair to look at the floor,

“Yeah I had some stuff to work through,” she sighed, “I’m feeling better now though.” She smiled. And she meant it, it’s like she’d been able to shed a massive weight she’d been carrying, watch it fall to the floor with a thud. “I’m gonna talk to Nicole about it later, didn’t want to distract her you know?”

Wynonna laughed, “Finally someone’s speaking my language.”

“You’re gonna ace it, Wy, I know it.” Waverly moved to hug her, “You’re the best team captain, I’m so proud of you,” Waverly grinned.

Wynonna settled her head on Waverly’s shoulder. Wynonna was so energetic, so on-the-go, so loud and aggressive that Waverly sometimes forgot that she had been through a lot, that she’d managed to channel all her anger and sorrow into something that she’d loved, that she’d turned all her problems into success. She sometimes forgot she was endlessly proud of Wynonna.

Wynonna pulled away from the hug, knocking Waverly on the shoulder. “You’re gonna make me cry,” she said, “now get out there, and get cheering!”

Waverly grinned, “of course,” she said, turning to walk towards the stadium, a smile written wide across her face. Already she could hear the hustle and bustle that made her warm inside, the rustling and chattering of around fifty happy fans.

~

“Hey!” Jeremy said, a huge grin on a face, a giant foam finger on his hand (Waverly didn’t even know where he’d got this from, they didn’t sell them at the grounds) and possibly the largest cup of coke she’d ever seen in her life in his other hand, his mouth half-filled with popcorn. Behind him she could see Gus rolling her eyes, Jeremy was very over-excited. Gus remembered him from endless sleepovers where they would chat all night (which Gus was very suspicious about, despite never being suspicious about her sleepovers with Chrissy, something which Waverly thought ironic given the circumstances.)

“Hey!” Waverly said, throwing her arms around him and knocking him slightly backwards in the process. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

All around them the stadium was filling up, people filing in. Waverly reckoned half of these people weren’t even normally into football, but people from Purgatory were _very_ supportive of the community. Which Waverly guessed she couldn’t complain about, given it helped them with their rent.

“Imma tell you right now, I don’t know anything about football,” Jeremy grinned,

“Honestly I barely do,” Waverly said, “as long as you cheer in the right places, all’s good. Besides,” she added, “you get to see hot girls running about.”

“Not really my thing,” Jeremy grinned, and Waverly swore she could see Gus roll her eyes behind them.

~

The match went well, _really well._ The atmosphere in the stadium was electric, everyone leaning forward in their seats, avidly stuffing popcorn into their mouths. Nicole and Wynonna were both playing centre forward, passing the ball back and forth to each other, their faces steely. And they were acing it. Half way in and Rosa in goal had barely even seen the ball. They were three up. Dolls gripped extra hard onto his clipboard, screaming louder and louder by every minute and arguing very loudly when the ref tried to give Wynonna a yellow card for ‘foul tackling’ someone; Waverly swore she heard the word _bullshit_ being tossed around. Lucado was refereeing and Waverly was genuinely scared an actual fistfight might have occurred, those two had a history shrouded in mystery that often became fiery on the court. Something to do with a match in ’07. Waverly had not dared to ask more.

~

At half time Nicole jogged over to the side, where the team huddled briefly, screaming into the circle before peeling onto the benches, downing bottles of water. Nicole leaned against the front railing where Waverly was sat, her breathing still heavy. Waverly grinned, nothing exhilarated her more than watching Nicole play, especially when she was acing the big important match of the season, all of her problems had been temporarily forgotten in all the excitement. Wynonna walked over throwing her arm around Nicole’s shoulders.

“Following the game are we Jeremy,” she grinned, knocking him on the shoulder.

“Just about,” he said, awkwardly mistaking her gesture as a high-five. Wynonna burst out laughing,

“Hot shot scientist and still the same huh Jeremy?” Jeremy blushed,

“Yah well if I’d have known you guys were this good I woulda come back sooner,”

Waverly was only half listening to Wynonna and Jeremy’s banter, instead focusing on the way Nicole’s hair curled around her black alice band (was she starting to become attracted to it? She shook her head, _surely not?)_ Waverly subconsciously moved closer to Nicole,

“Like what you see huh?” Nicole said softly, aware that the other three were still wrapped up in their conversation.

“Something like that,” Waverly whispered, moving so her forehead was pressed against Nicole’s.

“I missed you last night.” Nicole murmured.

Waverly smirked, “Don’t let Wy hear you say that, she hates you being distracted.”

“Hmm but I like it so much,” Nicole grinned,

“I know you do,” Waverly moved to press her lips against Nicole’s, aware she was deepening the kiss a little too much considering they were in a very public, open, space with all of Waverly’s family in the very close vicinity. Waverly tangled her hands in Nicole’s hair, before Wynonna coughed very loudly, pulling Nicole’s arm.

“If you _don’t mind,”_ Wynonna said pointedly, “We have a game to play,” Waverly blushed, falling back in her seat as Rosa shot her an apologetic look and Nicole only winked as Wynonna dragged her back to the final pep talk circle before the second half.

“So I still don’t get to meet her huh?” Jeremy said, turning to Waverly.

“Sorry bud, maybe next time.” She laughed, and Jeremy rolled his eyes, seeing Waverly’s eyes crinkled, her lips stretched out in a laugh, made him so happy, he was glad they’d both made it out of high school okay.

~

By the last five minutes even Jeremy was stood up, his hands gripping the iron rail, eyes fixed in the concentration. The purgatory panthers had got a very strong start, but in the final minutes the score stood at 3-3, with the mountain lions edging closer and closer towards the goal, (Rosa had already fended off two goal attempts). Waverly watched as they grew closer, Kit successfully intercepting and kicking the ball over to Callie who successfully dodged another player as the clock struck one minute left. Waverly had practically bitten all of her fingernails off as she watched Wynonna try and fail to receive the kick from Callie before the ball ended up with Nicole, and, with a fiery expression in her eyes and ten seconds left on the clock, she booted the ball into the goal, hitting the net with a satisfying thud. She stopped still, a look of shock written all across her face before the team jumped on her, first Wy and then Kit, and all the other girls, practically climbing all over each other, screaming at the top of their lungs. Nicole disappeared under a pile of limbs and screaming. The whole crowd exploded and Waverly practically knocked Jeremy to the ground, Dolls ran onto the pitch, throwing himself into the pile, and Wynonna knocked him to the floor before making out with him as she sat on top of him (so much for secrecy). She swore she could see Rosa rolling her eyes.

~

Waverly practically vibrated in her seat with excitement, tapping her feet against the floor and all her fingers against the rail. Finally, Nicole emerged from the giant pile of the team, shaking hands with all the other team members before making her way back to the changing room. Waverly grinned, throwing her bag at Jeremy and jumping over the rail, she couldn’t wait any longer. She tackled Nicole, throwing her legs around her, Nicole only just managing to catch her, before her arms were around Nicole’s neck, and she was kissing her passionately. She pulled back, laughing, her forehead pressed against Nicole.

“I’m so proud of you baby,” she said, and Nicole smiled widely, kissing her on the head once more before placing Waverly on the ground, weaving her hand into Waverly’s.

“Thanks baby,”

A cough came from behind them, a woman with long, straight, blonde hair, red glasses perched on the end of her nose. She pulled at her grey, striped waist coat. Beside her a taller man held a big, film camera over her shoulder.

“So,” she said, holding a microphone out, “shall we start the interview?”

Wynonna cracked up laughing behind them, practically doubled over (Waverly didn’t know why she was laughing after her _very_ public display of affection.)

“Sorry forgot to tell you,” she said, in between rasps of laughter, “local news are here.”

Nicole glared at Wynonna before turning back to look at the woman, a forced smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Hope you have a great day :)  
> As always, my tumblr is waverlystation pls come and talk to me!  
> Also more was supposed to happen in this chapter but it got sooo long I just cut it in two. I haven't the patience for more than 2.5k in a chapter lol, idk blame my attention span.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually made a Sunday upload! I actually already have next week's written too, look at me go! Also originally all of this was going to be one chapter with last weeks, but it would have been like 6k lol and who has the patience for that (not me). This is already breaking my 2.5k limit also so there's that.

The music boomed through the room, winding up the stairs and round the corners. Everywhere there stood women (mostly in jeans and jumpers or sweat pants, people were too tired to dress up) liquid sloshing against the rim of their cups. Wynonna had somehow got bright pink disco lights as well, (god knows from where, at this sort of hour, and in _Purgatory_ no less) which made everything look distorted. Well, that and the drink. The old corners of Waverly’s former home were twisted, flipped around, and Waverly felt as if she were seeing the remnants of her old home floating in a lake, debris bobbing along the surface. The homestead looked different in the light, the kitchen seemed a different shape, the living room smaller, her own room different all together (not in the least because it was now Alice’s room, for when she came on weekends.)

Nicole clutched Waverly’s hand a little tighter, half because she was drunk, stumbling through the corridor, and half because she knew Waverly sometimes struggled to be back in the old house. Only sometimes. For the most part it had been repurposed in her mind (and re-decorated mostly by Waverly herself), it was no longer the house of her early memory, shadowy and questionable and dark. It Wynonna’s home.

It was always messy, always a pizza box somewhere, and pictures littered the walls. Pictures of them as kids, Waverly on Wynonna’s shoulders, grinning and holding onto the ears of her woollen hat like a steering wheel, pictures of the day Alice was born, her tiny fingers clutched against Wynonna’s own, her big eyes staring up from inside the makeshift cot. And then there was Waverly holding Alice, Alice’s fingers clasping Waverly’s braid, and Waverly laughing, her eyes crinkling directly into the camera, Nicole leaned against the window in the back corner, a bright pink jacket thrown over her shoulders and a smile across her face. There was Doc with Alice, the brow of his hat casting a shadow over his face, but not disguising the massive grin across his face and the tear in his eye, his daughter, wrapped in blue, rested in the crest of his arm. Memories littered the walls, covering the old cracks, both real and abstract, old dark memories had been replaced with bright, white frames and smiles.

Down the hall there was a small cabinet with newspaper clippings of the team in, as well as the small trophy the team gave Wynonna last year and the medal she’d received when they’d won the amateur league. These stood alongside Alice’s trinkets, certificates for sports days and medals for spelling, and the one time she’d won star pupil. According to Doc, Alice was becoming very interested in running, and her teacher was considering entering her into some local competitions. Waverly couldn’t stand to hear people in the village, their sly whispers questioning Wynonna’s parenting, saying it was wrong for her to let Doc raise her, to see her only once a week. It enraged Waverly like nothing else, Waverly would defend Wynonna to the end of the world. There was no one on earth who loved that child more than her.

Waverly saw Wynonna in the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen island, her eyes warm as she leaned closer to Dolls, their hands clasped on the counter, a drink firmly grasped in her other hand. Waverly coughed as she entered the room and they sprung about (she thought some payback was due.)

“Oh it’s just you,” Wynonna said,

“I think everyone’s seen you now Wy,” Nicole shook her head fondly, “remember, you kissed in the middle of the grounds? Half the town was there?”

“I keep forgetting.” Wynonna said, her smile subtle. Waverly didn’t think she’d ever seen her so vulnerable, she seemed to radiate. Dolls placed a hand on her shoulder. “So what do you think?” she said, “Sorry for not telling you Wave,” Wynonna bit her lip, “it’s new.”

“It’s not that new.” Waverly laughed and Wynonna looked puzzled, “We’ve all know for ages, Wy.”

“No you haven’t.”

“Yup.” Nicole grinned, pulling Waverly closer so she could rest her head on Nicole’s shoulder, snaking her arm around Waverly’s hip.

“How did you know?”

The pair of them looked at each other, laughing. “You’re the least subtle person on this earth, Wy,” Waverly grinned, “you know I love you but it was so obvious.”

“There’s no way everyone knew.” Wynonna insisted.

“I promise you they did,” Nicole said. Wynonna took Dolls’ hand, furrowing her brow and dragging him from the room with a determined look in her eye. Somewhere down the hall Waverly could hear Wynonna interrogating Rosa about what she knew, Nicole shot Dolls a sympathetic look.

“So,” Nicole said, moving so that she was opposite Waverly, Waverly leaning against the kitchen island, “does this mean we’re alone now?”

“Hmm, I think so,” Waverly said, as Nicole wrapped her arms around her waist, leaning down to kiss her with none of the urgency of a couple of hours ago. Instead this kiss was soft and sweet and slow, Nicole’s lips moved against her own tenderly and she could feel Nicole’s thumb moving against her cheek. Just as all their earlier kisses though, this too was interrupted.

“Jesus do you guys ever stop?” Rosa said, throwing a handful of popcorn at them, and earning a death glare from Nicole perhaps only rivalled by the time Wynonna had insisted on sharing a hotel room with them on their _anniversary_ because she was lonely.  Waverly remembered Nicole, her temple twitching, glaring at Wynonna as she plonked herself in between them, flicking through channels on the remote. Waverly laughed,

“We’re engaged Rosa, it’s all perfectly kosher.”

“Not married yet,” she said in a sing-song voice. “Did you tell her the good news?” Rosa grinned,

“Not yet,” Nicole said, and Waverly furrowed her brow in confusion.

“What news?”

“We’re being sponsored,” Nicole grinned, and Waverly jumped, hugging Nicole,

“Well done baby, that’s great news.”

“Yeah by fantasia,” Rosa said, now shovelling popcorn into her mouth by the handful, “which means we’re getting a raise, I don’t know how much yet, Dolls hasn’t specified, but we should have better accommodation and that for when we go on tour for the big league in a couple of weeks, it’s all coming together.” She said, grinning almost bashfully as if she realised she’d talked too long.

Waverly felt herself begin to falter as _hollaback girl_ began to play from the other room, Rosa’s entire face spreading into a giant grin.

“Oh my god,” she said, “this is our song!” she screamed, placing the bowl of popcorn on the side and grabbing Nicole by the arm, Nicole shot her an apologetic look as she disappeared through the door frame.

She could hear people scream the lyrics from the other room, but it sounded as if it were underwater. Waverly’s ears were beginning to ring. _Not now,_ she thought. She’d done a great job all day, being happy for Nicole being happy for herself and the world she’d built. She been secure in the knowledge that she was going to tell her, that this sinking feeling in her stomach would soon be gone, but now she felt again like the ground had been ripped from underneath her, her hand gripped tight against the kitchen island, and she felt suddenly much drunker than she had before. Rosa’s wide grin echoed in her mind. She hated herself for not being able to cope. But there was something about the way Rosa said it, all her success lined up, her whole life ahead of her, and here Waverly was, still as a statue and only getting older, starting to crumble into the sand below. _Stop,_ she thought. _You can’t think like this._ But it was too late, the spiral had begun. Nicole was successful, Nicole was getting a raise, Nicole had done something with her life. Even Wynonna, the town fuck up, who won _most-likely-to-be-imprisoned_ back in high school was living her best life, had a beautiful daughter, a boyfriend, was team captain of a team that was only getting more and more successful, was about to tour Canada. Waverly felt herself begin to breathe heavier. She was foolish. What was she going to tell Nicole? _I’m sorry Nicole, I want to do something for myself, you’re not good enough. No,_ she thought, _that’s not it._ She’d spent nights in secret, hunched over a glowing laptop screen, scrolling through college after college, course after course, she knew she could do it in theory, she had the grades, she could take a loan, but it would mean four years away. How could she do that? Nicole couldn’t put her life on hold for four years. Or maybe Waverly just feared that she _wouldn’t._ And then what would she do?

And how could she tell Nicole something she had kept from her for so long? How could she tell her that the moment she got down on one knee, presented the ring to her, a massive smile written across her face, that she didn’t just feel joy, that she didn’t just feel a wave of warmth and happiness, but also a small tinge, a small fear of _is this my life now? Do I have to say goodbye to all my dreams?_ The kitchen started to spin, falling down down into a spiral, and Waverly swore she could see the tiled floor turn black beneath her feet. She shook her head, she needed to get out of there.

~

Waverly didn’t really know how she ended up there but she did, back in that old spot she used to go whenever she could hear her daddy shouting, or when her big sister Willa gave her that look she feared with every bone in her body. Down in the reeds by the lake, the shimmer of the air on the lake, the wind in the trees, the stretching sky and the earth running through her fingers, she felt part of the landscape. It calmed her, the feeling of all the reeds against her skin grounded her, brought her back to the surface of her skin, and watching the water ripple, even in the dark, reminded her that everything was going to be okay. The lake looked the exact same as it did when she was three years old, and it had probably looked the same for a hundred years before that and a hundred years to come. That soothed Waverly, a constant. It didn’t make her feel trapped, but rather reminded her that as difficult as life and all her decisions were, at least the lake could be relied on. Waverly wiped away a tear she didn’t realise was falling, hugging her knees under her chin.

~

Waverly didn’t know how much time passed before Wynonna got there. She was so quiet Waverly barely noticed her (which was so unlike Wynonna, especially drunk Wynonna). She didn’t say anything, just sat next to her, pulling her closer to her, cradling her head against her chest. Waverly didn’t realise how cold she was until she felt the warmth of Wynonna’s chest. It fractured everything, blurred all her timelines and suddenly she was five years old, and she and Wynonna had ran out the house fast as they could, away from the blazing eyes and raised hand of their father, and Wynonna was there for her, as she always was, and always would be, _it’s all going to be okay, baby girl._

Tears were streaming down her face now, falling onto her clothes, and into the dirt below.

“What are we, trying to make a new lake now?” Wynonna said, and Waverly laughed, hiccupping as all her emotions mixed together. Wynonna could feel her laugh in her chest. Waverly let go, and sat up so she was face to face with Wynonna. “Now what’s wrong baby girl? Spit it out.”

And in the darkness it was easier somehow. Or maybe it was easier because it was Wynonna, her rock, her north star. A part of herself lived in Wynonna, inaccessible to anybody else, beating away inside her very heart. They were sisters, bonded for life.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Waverly choked,

“Can’t do what baby girl?” Wynonna said, and Waverly broke, her floodgates opening as she told Wynonna everything, how she felt trapped in purgatory, how she’d always dreamed of making something of her life, how she didn’t want to just work at shorty’s her whole life and be a wife, how she wanted to go back to college and felt guilty every day that she hadn’t told Nicole, that she’d promised her life to Nicole without telling her what she wanted to do with that life. Word after word spilled over her lips, until they were practically blue, tears and the cold air mixing together, sprinkling along her wobbling lip.

Wynonna took in everything she was saying, not saying a single word until she had finished, at which point she simply opened her arms, hugged Waverly extra tight, and whilst stroking her hair she whispered over and over again;

_It’s all going to be okay baby girl._

And when Waverly had stopped crying, Wynonna placed both her hands on her shoulders, looked her straight in the eyes and said, “Tell Nicole, baby girl, she’ll understand, I know she will. You can’t keep living this way.” And Waverly knew in that second she couldn’t put it off any longer, Nicole was a huge part of her life, and she wasn’t being honest about what her life was.

“Thanks Wy,” Waverly said, placing her forehead against her older sister’s.

“What are big sisters for?” Wynonna said, standing up and holding out a hand to pull Waverly up off the floor.

~

When Waverly got back to the homestead the party was pretty much over. Most people had left, just a few girls remained, Rosa snoring sound asleep on the armchair, and Dolls and Kit still playing poker on the coffee table. As soon as Dolls saw them come in he smiled at Wynonna, patting the seat next to him. Waverly was glad they were out in the open now, as much fun as it was to see them try (and fail) to sneak around, she was glad Wynonna got her happy ending, and she smiled as she saw Wynonna settle next to him, nestling her head into his shoulder. Lord knows, it was what she deserved.

“Nicole’s upstairs,” Dolls said quietly, looking towards the stairs.

“Thanks,” Waverly said, making her way to the staircase as Wynonna shot her an encouraging look.

~

When Waverly got to her old bedroom, Nicole had already passed out, still in her dark blue shirt from before, her jeans hanging loosely from her hips. Sometimes she just didn’t know how to handle her drink, for all her height, Nicole was a bit of a lightweight. Wynonna had told her that Nicole had been looking frantically for her, slurring her words and running into various pieces of furniture before Dolls had put her to bed, clearly being too sheepish to take off any of her clothes.

Waverly cocked her head and smiled, at this angle, her hair all mussed up, and her clothes draped across her body, her face looser in sleep, Nicole looked younger than ever. Waverly felt a surge of love, and she felt confidence in the words Wynonna had said. S _he’ll understand._ Of course she would, Waverly had been fretting for nothing. She’d tell her in the morning, when they were both a little fresher, when there wasn’t some kind of alcohol stained across Nicole’s jeans, and mascara dripping from Waverly’s cheeks.

She moved across the room, taking her shoes off and changing into the one of her old t-shirts she’d left in Alice’s chest of drawers for exactly this situation. She stared down at Nicole, she looked so peaceful she didn’t want to move her, but she was star fished across the bed, and Waverly needed sleep, the shaking of crying settling as exhaustion in her bones.

“Hey” she said, shaking her shoulder gently, “Nicole,”

“Hmm, what?” she said, her voice scratchy and her eyes still scrunched up against the light.

“It’s me, I need to get into bed,” she said and Nicole opened her eyes,

“Wave?” she said, sitting up, shaking her head as if she was returning to the room, “I was worried about you.” She looked up at Nicole.

“I know baby,” Waverly smiled, “here let me help you,” she said, pulling Nicole’s shirt over her head and turning to get her another shirt from inside the chest of drawers (the t-shirts were always way too short for Nicole, not that Waverly was complaining.) She threw the t-shirt to Nicole who pulled it over her head before kicking her jeans off, holding out a hand to Waverly and pulling her down so she was lying next to her, she placed her arms around Waverly, her eyes still half closed in sleep. Waverly switched off the lamp and pulled the duvet over them.

“You’re really pretty you know,” Nicole said, and Waverly could hear the slur in her voice,

“Thanks baby,”

“And I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Waverly smiled, settling in closer to Nicole so she could feel her breathing against the back of her neck, could smell her hair wrapped around her ear. She felt settled.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is kind of like more filler but it was a part of the story I really wanted to tell, I feel like I'm stringing you along though, but like I said the last two chapters, idea wise were just supposed to be one. This chapter also gives important background and develops some of Waverly's familial relationships more, so I thought it was important. I can promise you she'll tell Nicole next chapter though. Anyway, hope you have a nice day and thanks for reading :)
> 
> As always, tumblr is waverlystation :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another sunday upload! and with a migraine too! (I'm acing this)

When Nicole woke up the morning light was spilling through the curtains. She rolled over, her eyes squinting against the bright light. She rubbed her eyes. Waverly was sat up against the head of the bed, knees tucked up to her chest, her chipped silver-painted nails clutched around a mug of peppermint tea, curling smoke amid her braid that was still in from the night before. She’d pulled a chunky, woollen jumper over her pyjamas and she smiled as Nicole opened her eyes.

“Wh-what time is it?” she said, moving to lie on her side, her hair spilled all over the pillow, shooting off in about five different directs (unlike Waverly, she did not have perfect morning hair.)

“Nearly ten,” Waverly said, taking a sip of her tea as she watched Nicole push herself up on her elbows, twitching as the hangover hit her head. “Here,” she said, handing her a glass of tap water.

“Thanks,” she smiled, “you’re an angel.” She sat up, pressing her back against the head of the bed before taking a sip of the water, feeling the cold rattle against her chapped lips, before placing it on the windowsill. There was a pause, “You’re quiet.” Nicole said, noticing the Waverly’s sad stillness. Nicole was the most perceptive person she knew.

“I need to tell you something,” Waverly said softly, not quite making eye contact. Nicole sat up a little sharper, all the fog of sleep clearing as a tinge of anxiety started in her chest. She felt herself start to blink, as if her mind was trying to refresh the picture.  She could sense Waverly was leading up to something, so she ignored all the swirling emotions in her chest, instead she just took a breath and said, _okay,_ very softly.

“So I don’t really know how to start.” Waverly said, subconsciously rubbing her fingers along the sides of her mug. “It’s been on my mind for a little while, but it’s all I’ve been able to think about this past week, you may have noticed.” Waverly bit her lip guiltily, taking a deep breath, and staring at the light as it filtered through the curtain “It’s just I’ve spent my whole life in Purgatory, Nicole, and it’s my home sure, but the night I met you I was planning on leaving,” she closed her eyes, “I’ve always wanted to leave, I had to watch everybody go off to college, and I stayed, because Wynonna was running wild and Gus needed me, and I thought I’d made my peace with that.” She took a breath, “But the truth is I haven’t, I still want more, I still want to leave and see if I can make something of myself.” She turned to look at Nicole, her still façade faltering a little, “I’m sorry Nicole, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Nicole’s eyes widened, and she paused for minute, as if she was trying to absorb all of the information. Her face relaxed as she sensed the tension in the air, “There’s no need to be sorry baby,” she said slowly, reaching forward to pull Waverly in for a hug, and letting her settle her head on her shoulder. She felt Waverly’s whole body relax against hers, god knows how long she’d been keeping it inside, winding tighter and tighter, spiralling.  “I had no idea,” Nicole said as Waverly pulled away, pushing her hair behind her ear, “I guess I should have known –“ she paused, avoiding Waverly’s eyes, “I hate to think I made you stay here,”

“It’s not that!” Waverly insisted, “I love you and I’ve loved every second I’ve spent with you,” she said, stroking Nicole’s cheek, tears gathering in her eyes now, “I just don’t want to always feel like I could’ve done something else you, know, and I thought I could cope -” she took a breath, “- but it’s making me miserable.” She flopped back on the bed, placing one arm behind her head and staring up at the ceiling, feeling Nicole move to lie down next to her, her shoulder brushing against Waverly’s own.

“I know, I hear what you’re saying.” Nicole said, pausing, starting to bite at her fingernails (a habit she thought she’d ridded herself of months ago) “What does this mean now then?”

“I don’t know,” Waverly said softly, her eyes tracking the swirls in the plaster the same way she had when she was four years old and unable to sleep, back when she would wander into Wynonna’s room at midnight, dragging her bunny behind her on the ground. Wynonna was always awake, and she would pull Waverly up into bed with her, cradling her until she fell asleep. To this day, every time Wynonna wrapped her arms around her, it felt like childhood.

“Because we don’t have to get married,-“ Nicole said quickly, interrupting Waverly’s daydreaming. “I would understand one hundred percent, maybe it was a dumb idea in the first place –“ Nicole rushed her sentence and stumbled over her words.

“No, baby, no, that’s not what I meant,” Waverly said quickly, moving to kiss Nicole on the cheek, “I love you, I do want to marry you and the day you proposed was one of the happiest of my life, I promise,”

Nicole digested this information, “Then what?” she said softly.

“I’m not sure about it,” Waverly said, “I’ve been looking at colleges, I want to apply for next year, applications open January, so I have a month, maybe two to make a decision.” She closed her eyes, “Of course that’s not the hard part, I would have to go away-“

“And I have to stay here,” Nicole said, “so we’d be apart-“

“for four years,” Waverly said, closing her eyes.

“It’s a long time,” Nicole said, turning on her side, Waverly doing the same so they were face to face. Nicole took a breath, “but if it’s what you need Wave, if it’s what you want, then you have to do it,” she said, resting her forehead against Waverly’s. Waverly started to cry,

“Thank you so much,” she said, starting to shake, and Nicole pulled her against her chest.

“Hey, I love you,” Nicole said, reaching to place a kiss on Waverly’s lips, soft, and they lay like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, back in Waverly’s old room where everything had started. It would have been a long, important, and romantic moment had it not been interrupted by Wynonna throwing the door wide open, and a squealing five year old running to jump on the pair of them.

 _“Aunties!”_ came a squeal from the bundle on top of them, who’d started to jump up and down on the bed.

“Sorry,” Wynonna said, arms crossed, leaning against the doorway with a smug look written all over her face, that indicated that she wasn’t in fact sorry, not even a little bit.

~

Nicole sipped her coffee, watching Waverly from across the room. Her face lit up, as Alice chatted on about everything she’d done at school, Waverly moved to tickle her, Alice squirming and giggling. Wynonna watched on, fondness filling her eyes. From what Waverly had told her, that child had been the making of Wynonna, she’d taught her how to stay still; without her Wynonna might still be wheeling all over the world, desperately trying to find some semblance of meaning, seeking something abstract in the Himalayas, or down on the beaches of Zakynthos. Wynonna lived for that child, Nicole knew that Alice was the fire behind all of Wynonna’s motivations, all of her goals. Well, Alice and Waverly, Wynonna had been gifted two surprise babies in her life, and Nicole knew she wouldn’t have it any other way. Wynonna may not have had all the makings of a ‘perfect’ mother, but she was more passionate, more determined, more protective that anyone Nicole knew. (And Nicole _knew,_ she’d been on the receiving end of Wynonna’s wrath more than a few times.)

Doc was slumped in an armchair, and Wynonna and Dolls were perched on the other sofa. Waverly was hanging onto Alice’s every word, slowly building her own tiny Lego building to match Alice’s. Nicole had pulled one of Wynonna’s jumpers on, which boasted proudly _my sister went to Venice and all she got me was this lousy t-shirt,_ (except she knew for a fact that Waverly had never been to Venice (or even Venice beach), and Wynonna had in fact bought it for herself). She’d also borrowed a pair of plain grey jogging bottoms, and both fit her perfectly, maybe she’d start stealing Wynonna’s clothes more often. She stirred her coffee, maybe she’d take Waverly to Venice one day, she thought absent-mindedly.

“Lost in dreamland again are we?” Waverly said, offering her a soft smile.

“Something like that,” Nicole smiled, moving to sit next to on the arm of the sofa that Wynonna and Dolls were sharing.

“Hey Auntie Nicole,” Alice said, grinning up at her, “want to make some Legos?”

“Always,” Nicole grinned, placing her coffee down and sitting on the floor next to Waverly.

“Got everyone wrapped round your little finger, huh Al?” Wynonna smirked, “Just like your mama.”

Doc scoffed, “You can say that again.” And Dolls chuckled, sharing a knowing look with Doc.

At that, Jeremy rounded the corner, dressed in star wars pyjamas, he wandered into the kitchen, yawning widely, “Got any chai?” he said,

“Jeremy what are you still doing here?” Waverly said, incredulously as Jeremy took in the full-family, picture-perfect, fireplace scene going on in front of him.

“Nicole said I could stay?” he shrugged, rifling through the cupboards to find a mug, “Nice to finally meet you by the way,” he said, nodding in Nicole’s vague direction, “man this place has changed since I was last here.”

“ _Well,”_ Wynonna said pointedly, staring at Nicole, “that wasn’t really Nicole’s call, but since you’re here now, mugs are in the right hand cupboard, top two shelves.”

“Is it bad I have no recollection of saying that?” Nicole said, blushing, “Or of meeting you, sorry dude.” She grimaced.

“Seriously?” Jeremy laughed loudly, as he moved to fill up the kettle. “Me and you were sat on the step for ages? And you talked about Waves for like a full twenty minutes, and then we swapped dream weddings?” Nicole was definitely blushing then, a deep red, moving to hide behind her hair (which was unfortunately too short to do the job properly, _damn it.)_

Dolls laughed loudly, and Jeremy paused, pushing his glasses back up his nose, “Ah no, I’ve overstepped the line,”

“Nah, not your fault,” Nicole said, “just ruining my street cred.” She said, focusing very hard on building her Lego house.

“You never had any street cred,” Waverly grinned, knocking Nicole on the shoulder. Jeremy picked up his mug, moving to sit down (uncomfortably close) next to Dolls.

“So introduce me to the gang then,” Jeremy said, grinning with an enthusiasm that was almost infectious. ( _almost,_ Wynonna still managed to muster a scowl, no matter how put-on it really was.)

~

“You sure you don’t want to come the park, Auntie Nicole?” Alice said, as Wynonna tried to push her out of the door,

“Auntie Nicole isn’t feeling too well,” Wynonna said, winking at Nicole. Waverly wondered what the locals were going to start saying when they saw all of them turn up. They already turned their noses up at Wynonna’s _unconventional_ family arrangements, god knows what they were going to think when she turned up at the park with her baby daddy, her gay sister and her sister’s gay friend. It takes a village to raise a child, but there was a city raising Alice, and that was just the way Wynonna liked it.

Dolls was staying behind (which at least removed the whole, _what do you mean your baby daddy and your boyfriend are best friends?_ conversation), he’d said he had work to do but he’d looked directly at Nicole when he said it. Somehow Dolls always knew when something was wrong, Nicole guessed that was what made him a good coach. Her and Dolls had become close early on, sharing a love for bad cop shows and Indian food, Nicole could honestly consider Dolls one of her very best friends, if not family (which soon enough they both might be.)

The door slammed behind them, and through the window Nicole could see Alice up on Doc’s shoulders, having some kind of debate with Waverly.

“So what is it?” Dolls said, turning to face Nicole where she stood by the window.

“How do you know something’s up?”

Dolls rolled his eyes, “Believe me I know,”

“It’s nothing,” Nicole said, taking a sip of her (second) coffee.

“None of that,” Dolls said, moving to sit in the armchair, and motioning Nicole to sit opposite him. She moved slowly, sitting down and felt Dolls eyes upon her, as he waited in silence.

“Fine,” she said, “Waverly wants to go to college,” she said softly, the sentence didn’t spark any particular emotion in her, she wasn’t sure if she’d even properly processed the news yet, “away from here, and I don’t know what that means for our future.”

“Hmm” Dolls said. Dolls was very easy to talk to, he was an excellent listener, he hid is feelings well and was always neutral, if he didn’t have a growing career in coaching, Nicole figured he would make a great therapist.

“I’m proud of her of course, and I know this is what she wants, and I want to support her one hundred percent.”

“But?”

“But,” Nicole sighed, and waiting a while before speaking again, her own brain unravelling her emotions, laying her thoughts out bare as she thought them, “I don’t know it’s hard, you know? She’ll be away for so long, I don’t have that much time to see her as it is, what with practice and now tour, when will I have time to visit her?” she pushed her hair back, taking another sip of coffee, “And I was looking forward to the wedding,” she said, quietly, before pausing, “oh god I’m so superficial.”

“No,” Dolls said quietly, “no, you’re not, of course you were looking forward to it, and it can still happen. This is going to be hard, but there’s no reason you couldn’t still have everything you wanted, no reason the wedding can’t still happen.”

“I know,” Nicole said, but as she bit her lip, she thought, _but it might not._

~

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And she finally told Nicole, sorry for making you wait so long! Idk what's happening with this fic, I think I'm losing motivation a little, and it's not quite turning out how I want it to, I guess this kind of always happens mid-way through.  
> As always my tumblr is waverlystation  
> And in march I'm taking part in a femslash minis event (on tumblr) so look forward to that!  
> Have a nice day, and thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another sunday upload! I'm all caught up with where I was ahead with my writing, so I don't have anything else written yet for next week, hopefully I'll still make the upload though!

Waverly tried to discuss her situation with Nicole repeatedly over the next week. She caught her when she was doing laundry, on her way out to practice, in the aisles of Walmart, over their traditional weekly dinner date at Shorty’s, but every time the conversation was cut short. Nicole would smile, kiss her forehead and tell her, _everything’s okay,_ but Waverly could see the way she avoided direct eye contact, the way she bit her lip as if she had something to say before shaking her head slightly, pushing the thoughts out of her head. Maybe she was imagining it? Maybe Nicole was just being the supportive girlfriend ( _fiancée)_ she’d always been, and Waverly was just looking for problems? In every other way they were back to normal, they spent all their time together, as happy as the day they’d moved in together. But every so often Waverly would see Nicole mess with her engagement ring, (they’d decided they should both have engagement rings) twisting it around her finger, her eyes drifting off into space, and she’d get that sinking feeling in her stomach all over again.

~

The air was bitingly cold, and Waverly was still shivering despite being wrapped up in two coats, a scarf, gloves and a hat. She entwined her gloved hand with Nicole’s leaning in closer to her as Alice skipped ahead, running towards the swings. Nicole wrapped her arms around Waverly, relishing in the moment, an empty park, and the sky stretching forever above them. Two tiny dots lost in all this chaos.

Alice turned around, grinning, her bobble hat flapping in the breeze, “Push me, push me!” she shouted towards them and Nicole laughed, reaching out for the swing and starting to push Alice. Waverly leant against the pole, her arms crossed, watching with adoration at the pair of them.

Alice had been staying with Wynonna for the past week, Doc and Jeremy had gone back home and her and Dolls had fallen into an almost traditional family routine, enough to make even the locals proud. They were both busy with tour preparations and when Nicole and Waverly had turned up to the house, Wynonna was tearing her hair out trying to find all the right documents, running around and glaring at Dolls with the fire of a thousand suns (so maybe not _quite_ picture perfect) and Alice was plonked in front of the TV. So, the pair had offered to take Alice out to the park. And Wynonna had looked at them like they were angels sent from above.

“Higher! Higher!” came a shout and Nicole grinned, pushing Alice higher on the swings.

“Much higher and you’ll go all the way round!” Nicole laughed, (Alice wasn’t anywhere near going all the way round, but Nicole remembered the thrill of childhood, the magic myth of the full circle swing).

“Hey,” Waverly said, a paused beat as she nestled closer to Nicole, “I’ll miss you, you know.” Nicole could feel Waverly’s bobble hat scratching against her neck, and she moved to snake an arm around Waverly’s waist, her other hand nearly missing the swing.

“I’ll miss you too baby,” Nicole said softly. The unspoken sat in between them like fog, _this is four weeks, next time it’ll be four years._

Lately Waverly sometimes felt as if she were pretending. Pretending to still be a couple, as if they were just biding their time before she left, their relationship had turned bitter in her eyes, dashed with artifice and stilted looks. If only Nicole would _talk_ to her.

~

When they got back, Wynonna was loading up the small bus that sat in the homestead’s front drive.

“We’re nearly ready,” Wynonna shouted at them, breathing heavily as she continued to lift bags onto the bus. Waverly could see Dolls rummaging through the storage compartment, a checklist in hand. A lot of the girls seemed to already be on the bus, and Doc’s signature pink car was parked next to the bus. He leaned against it, his signature hat balanced on his head. He still looked incomplete without a cigarette in his hand (he had quit the day after Alice was born).

“Daddy!” Alice said, letting go of both Nicole and Waverly’s hands and racing across the dusty drive, jumping straight into Doc’s arms, Doc’s eyes lit up, as he spun Alice around.

“I missed you pumpkin,” he grinned, hoisting her up onto his hip, “did you have fun this week?”

“Did we ever!” Wynonna said, strolling towards the car, 

“Wynonna,” Doc said, as Alice wriggled from his arms, “always a pleasure,” he docked his hat at her, “and the girls,” he smiled, reaching out to hug Waverly and Nicole.

“Just about ready to go,” Dolls called out to Wynonna, before spotting Doc, “ah man didn’t see you arrive,” he said, pulling Doc in for a hug (or there version of a hug which seemed to involve, a lot of hitting each other on the back and grunting.)

“Everyone on the bus?” Wynonna said,

“Nearly everyone,” Dolls said, rolling his eyes and gesturing towards Kit, who was kissing her girlfriend feverishly against the barn wall.

“Those two are getting nearly as bad as you,” Wynonna laughed, nodding towards Waverly and Nicole.

Wynonna lowered herself to Alice’s level, grinning as she ran her hand along Alice’s cheeks, “Gonna miss you, baby girl.” She said, and Alice launched herself into Wynonna’s arms,

“Miss you too mama,” Alice said, “see you soon?”

“Of course, I expect you to be at the final match, monkey.” She grinned, ruffling Alice’s hair and looking up at Doc expectedly.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Bye, bye, aunties.” Alice said, turning to smile up at Waverly and Nicole.

“See you soon, munchkin,” Nicole said, hugging Alice before she turned to hug Waverly.

“Right,” Wynonna said, her commanding team-captain voice back (although Waverly could see the edge of a tear in her eye), “everyone on the bus.” Wynonna and Dolls moved towards the coach,

“Kit!” Dolls yelled, “We’re heading off now!”

Doc moved to place Alice in the car, and Nicole walked Waverly (the two seconds) back to their car.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Waverly said, leaning up to kiss Nicole, her hand snaking into her hair, and pulling her closer towards herself as Nicole picked her up, placing her on the bonnet of the car, deepening the kiss, behind them the bus horn honked loudly, making Nicole jump, laughing. She rested her forehead against Waverly’s, smiling,

“Like Kit could out do us,” she grinned and Waverly hit her lightly on the arm,

“Hey I am not something to show off,” she smirked,

“So now we’re not allowed to show off, but when Champ came into Shorty’s, you were allowed to be all over me just to show him up?” Nicole bit her lip as the bus horn went again, and this time she heard Wynonna audibly scream _Haught you better get your ass in here now!_ followed by a round of laughter.

Nicole kissed Waverly again quickly, “I’m going to miss you so much babe,” she said as she walked backwards, “see you soon though.”

“Yes,” Waverly said, blowing a kiss towards Nicole who proceeded to catch it, Waverly could almost feel Wynonna rolling her eyes.

_Not soon enough, though._

_~_

Nicole piled onto the bus, falling into the only available seat, at the front next to Rosa.

“So you two seemed to have made it up then?” Rosa said, raising her eyebrows as Nicole took her seat.

“Make it up?” Nicole said quizzically, feigning confusion as her hand began to shake.

“Yeah, from the whole _Waverly wants a career, I want a wedding,_ thing?”

Nicole paled, lowering her voice, “How did you know that?”

“Dolls told me?” Rosa said realising she’d put her foot in it, and in front of them, Nicole could see Dolls start to lower himself in his seat.

“Dolls!” she hissed, knocking him on the shoulder,

“She overheard me talking about it with Wy!” he said, defensively.

“God,” Nicole huffed, “is there anyone who doesn’t know?” she paused, “and anyway,” she said, putting her headphones in, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Already the sky seemed greyer than it had five minutes ago. Rosa raised her eyebrows, but decided to drop it, pulling out her own phone, and starting up her music.

~

 _Right._ Waverly said to herself. She’d decided not to wallow any more, she wasn’t going to let this time go to waste. This was _her_ time. She would use the time to write, sort through some things. She picked her bag off the side, complete with her laptop and her headphones. She wasn’t going to wait around letting the sadness get the best of her, she’d do what she’d always done; _get over it._

_~_

Waverly practically bounced into her evening shift at Shorty’s, causing him to raise his eyebrows,

“You seem awfully chipper today,” he said pointedly, “didn’t the team leave today?”

“Yes,” Waverly smiled, “but I’m not going to let that get the best of me, I’m an independent woman, and I have plenty to occupy myself with.”

A woman in the corner of the bar raised up her tankard of beer, “I’ll drink to that,” she shouted and Waverly grinned as she tied her apron round her waist, pushing through the saloon double doors to the kitchen, where Rafe had pre-prepared her favourite sweet and sour soup (with a dollop of peanut butter). She smiled, _this day is only getting better,_ she thought to herself.

“Well if you’re already in a great mood,” Shorty said, following her into the kitchen, “then I guess you don’t need this, but you might as well see it anyway.” He said, gesturing for her to follow him.

~

“Kittens?” Waverly said, the word barely out of her mouth before she was on her knees, one in her hands and another one trying to climb her arm.

“I found them outside this morning, poor things they’re mother must have abandoned them…”

But Waverly was no longer listening, she was cooing and fussing over five bundles of small grey fluff, any other thoughts completely abandoned.

~

The rain lashed down as Nicole ran around the pitch. There had been eye rolls and moans when Wynonna had suggested they take the evening to practice before the big match, _it’s practically a hurricane outside Wy,_ but Wynonna and Dolls were a force to be reckoned with, and when they said it was time for practice, it was time for practice. It was not a suggestion but rather a command.

But as Nicole felt the cold water run down her face, numbing all of her limbs, as she looked up, and focused on the ball, as everything else blurred around her, she felt a great sense of relief. It was exactly what she needed, she needed to be so cold, so focused, that her mind couldn’t run away with itself. It was odd, but it took torrential rain for her to really get her thoughts in order. Afterwards she felt cleansed, lighter than she had in weeks, and ready to talk to Waverly, to _really_ talk to her, heart to heart.

~  
“What do you mean you got another kitten?” Nicole said, shaking her head fondly, the image of Waverly was crackled and the signal was cutting every couple of minutes, but it was still Waverly, and that brought a smile to her face.

“I mean Shorty found them, they were out on the street, and look at him.” Waverly said, holding up the small kitten in front of the webcam, the tiny grey creature squirming in her hands.

“Three cats Waves? Really?” Nicole laughed, “You know that makes us crazy cat ladies right?” But she was only faking concern, truth be told nothing could take Nicole down from her high.

“Who cares, Nic, I’m related to Wynonna, people have been talking to me for years.” Waverly laughed, “I thought we could call him Billy? Like Billy the kid?”

Nicole grinned, shaking her head, “So now it’s not just three cats, it’s three themed cats?”

“Hey you started it with Calamity Jane!” Waverly protested, “And we live in Purgatory, might as well embrace it.”

“Not for long,” Nicole said, watching Waverly’s face as she tried to change the subject, “not for you anyway.”

“Yes,” Waverly said softly, placing Billy back down on the bed, where he immediately tried to crawl back into her lap, “are you not okay with that?” she said, looking down at the floor, “Cause I’d understand completely if –“

“No, no I am!” Nicole said, “I just wanted –“she took a breath, “I just wanted to talk about the wedding,” she said, twiddling her thumbs.

“What about it?” Waverly said quietly.

“We just never set a date, and I wondered –“Nicole took another breath, “I wondered what you wanted to do about it? Like do you want to stay engaged when you go away, set a date after your studies, do it before, not bother?” She said the last one looking Waverly straight in the eyes,

“Ideally,” Waverly said softly, “we would get married before, but I realise that’s sooner than expected and preparation wise –“ she slowed down, watching as Nicole’s grin unfurled on the screen. “What?”

“That’s exactly what I want too,” she smiled and Waverly returned the favour, her eyes crinkling.

“We’re really going to do it?” Waverly said, lying down on the bed, a small kitten balanced on her chest, smiling up at Nicole. She could feel the sun falling through the curtains, floating across her grin and warming up her pink cheeks.

“We’re really doing it,” Nicole said, “and then you’ll be my wife.” She said, unable to stop the grin spreading across her face.

“God the other college students will really think I’m old then,” Waverly rolled her eyes,

“And you can sneak me into your dorm,” Nicole grinned, “and it’ll all be kosher, cause marriage.”

“I’m sure that’s how it works,” Waverly said, laughing.

“Definitely.”

~

She talked to Nicole until the sun started to set, running pink and orange streaks across her walls, a soft glow flickering across the duvet, and a rather angry cat pawing at her, asking for food.

“I think I better go.” Waverly said, flipping the camera to show Nicole Calam and laughing.

“Me too baby, if Wynonna finds out I’ve been talking to you instead of resting up for tomorrow she’ll murder me,” Nicole grinned, “that sister of yours sure is intense.”

Waverly laughed, remembering the last time she’d found her in Nicole’s room right before a big away game, the way her face reddened and she’d forced Waverly to sleep on her hotel floor instead. Wynonna Earp was passionate about exactly three things; family, football and whiskey.

“See you soon baby, love you.” Waverly said, offering Nicole a small wave.

“Love you too.”

The screen went black and Waverly made her decision. She was going to go see Nicole. Her wife. She smiled. The word felt good in her mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, have a nice day :) Let me know what you thought, and as always my tumblr is waverlystation


End file.
